Relationships From A Friend’s Point of View……


 

Relationships!! When I say that I mean between a man and a woman. How do we carry ourselves around each other? As a man I see how we need help and grace! We are to honour God in the relationships we have, we are to put Him first as well. This post is directed more towards the men because as men we are called to lead. We are the ones who called to be the head. As men we can be so clueless at times hence this post. So if you are in a relationship and you don’t have a clue about what you supposed to be doing then this is the post for you. If you are not yet in one then this will help as well.

These are the thoughts of one of my best friends. She was kind enough to let me share it because I think it will give you an idea into how to treat a woman but more than that it will teach you how to honour the women God has placed in your lives.  It will teach you to treat her the way God wants you to treat her. We live in a world where relationships are painted as some small thing but it’s not. God created relationships.  We need strong relationships in our lives to grow and as men it’s our responsibility to lead the way. Women need us to be strong to lead. They need us to lead them deeper into God but to do that you as a man have to know! How can you be that man if you are clueless??? So let us move on.

*please note that this is not how all women think. This is how my friend thinks but she is a woman but not just any woman but a wise woman so I think there is a lot we can learn as men from what she has shared!!!
I am going to highlight a few things from what I have read and if I see a need to expound more on a point I will.

THOUGHTS OF A WOMAN ON RELATIONSHIPS

– In any interaction with a lady you BOTH need to decide, are we bringing each other closer to God or further away, and this also is true if she is just a friend, God needs to be at the centre.

This is so true. She is so right about that. If God is not at the centre of your relationship you are in trouble. God needs to be the focus of your relationship. He is not second or third or fourth! He is first!!
Men, it is our job to initiate where the relationship is going. It is our responsibility to lead the relationship towards God. Do not wait for the woman to start the conversation. You lead her! I read a quote the other day that said, “The greatest thing a man can do to a woman is to lead her closer to God than to himself.

– Games are for the court, field or the computer not a relationship and that goes for a friend too! You playing games and trying to get a reaction out of her leaves room for miscommunication, misinterpretation and it proves you are secure.

– A lady’s heart is a precious jewel and should be treated as such.

– Women are emotional, get over it and get used to it, it does not make them weak. Emotions are human. It’s HOW she deals with her emotions that is important.

– Study her, but she is not a test to be passed or failed. Never stop learning about her.

– (I really like this one 🙂 ) Be aware that a lady is always thinking 5 steps ahead of you in regards to this relationship whether purely friendship or something deeper, she is ALWAYS thinking and quite possibly taking what you say out of context, women look at details and will analyse them so you need to know that what you say IS IMPORTANT even if you are “joking”.

– The pace and direction of any relationship is dependent on the man. You are the leader, take responsibility for that. If she ends up going in the direction of a serious relationship do not blame her, you lead her that way!!!
(that is a hard one men)

– Your word means something…keep it and if you have not, man up and tell her!

– The best thing that you can do is be honest with her.

– You have no business  telling a lady how you feel about her if you are not prepared to act on those feelings.

I think I will stop there. I have given you a lot to think about. Relationships are so important. We need to guard the relationships we have. I hope your eyes have been opened but just beside been opened I hope you have been enlightened!!!
This is just a little of what I have been given but the bit I have shared should help you. Let us learn to honour God in the relatonships we have with each other!

Rolain.P

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God is to blame for my problems?????


I don’t know anyone in this life who has never had a bad thing happen to them. We live in a broken world where bad things happen and we as children of God are not exempt from it. In this lifetime there will be suffering and pain but where we err a lot of the time is we blame God or a friend, or a system or the government, or the wife, husband and the list carries on instead of looking at ourselves first.
As children of God we need to know in our heart that God has only the best for us. His plan for us is good! God does not have any evil plans for you. His plan for you is not to be sick or poor or lonely!!! He has a good plan for you.
Let us take a look at Joshua because he had to learn that God’s plan for him was good. In Joshua 7 we read the story of Ai. This was a small city compared to Jericho. Joshua had just defeated Jericho and now they had to face Ai. It was so small that Joshua sent 3000 men to fight! Ai was supposed to be a walk in the park but it wasn’t. Instead they got defeated and to make it worse other surrounding cities would attack them and defeat them because of what Ai did!!! This was a problem and look at how Joshua responds.

Joshua said, “Oh, oh, oh…Master, God. Why did You insist on bringing this people across the Jordon? To make us victims of the Amorites? To wipe us out? Why didn’t we just settle down on the east side of the Jordon? Oh, Master, what can I say after this, after Israel has been run off by it’s enemies?
When the Canaanites and all the others living here get wind of this, they will gang up on us and make short work of us – and then how will You keep up Your reputation?
Joshua 7:7-9

Can you believe him? “Make us victims”, “wipe us out”, “gang up on us”….! These were the words used and a lot more. Joshua totally missed it here. From trusting in God, he went to fear! He forgot that God’s plan is always good. As much as I would like to sit here and criticize him I know I have prayed the same prayer and thought the same thoughts!! Have you? When things go wrong we look to other people to blame. It must be that person, we tell ourselves but we can’t keep on thinking like that. We need to trust the fact that GOD is GOOD. He will never do anything to harm us. He loves us.
The reason the Israelite s failed to defeat Ai wasn’t because God did something wrong, it wasn’t because He liked to confuse them, or it wasn’t because God liked seeing them fail!!!!
They were defeated because some one man sinned! Achan failed to listen to God and disobeyed Him.
When things go wrong who do we look to? Is the first instinct to look outside of ourselves?? That needs to change. God is not to blame for your problems. God is not unfair and cruel and evil. He is good. God is not the problem, you are! It’s you and me!! God wants the best for you but how often do we mess it up. Before you blame God look inside you. Start with yourself.

Is God to blame for the evil in the world and the pain and the suffering? No He is not. Let us trust in His goodness. He is good. Do you believe that???

Rolain