Guest post – A voice crying through the darkness.

Good morning, afternoon and evening to everyone! Hope

you all had a great week. This is my second guest post. I

think you will enjoy what Matthew has to share. Please

visit his blog at, mbm1992.wordpress.com, because he has

a unique word from God, a word that will set a lot of people

free…..I really

believe that!

And since this is my second guest post I guess I should

open an invitation to anyone who would like to be a

guest on my blog. Feel free to email me if you want to

be a ……(I am looking for the right word….hmmm,)

Feel free to email me if you want to be a “guest-poster”!

Aha….that’s it, guest-poster!  🙂

My email is,    rolain.errol377@gmail.com

If you want to drop me an email to say hi, feel free to do so as

well…..!      😉

Sorry for going on a tangent there……without wasting anymore

of your time let me leave you to read what God has put on

Matthew’s heart…..

 

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We currently live in a country where transparency is shunned. The mass outlet of humanity exists within the confines of our masked communities. There’s nothing real in our society anymore. Trust is constantly hanging by the noose of betrayal. Truth is buried underneath a cemetery of lies. What’s honestly real anymore?

Look, I’m only twenty-two years old and I’m already fed up with the society we live in. I’ve been raised in a pastor’s home my entire life, darkened the door of a church every chance I could, and am now studying to be a pastor. For the past four years I have struggled heavily with bouts of depression and anxiety attacks. Would you like to know how often the church has been prepared to help me cope with such things? Not very often. Would you also like to know why I think that is?

It’s because no one wants to be real anymore.

I’m probably making some serious accusations here but am I wrong? Am I really that unjustified? No one knows how to deal with someone else’s problems. We live in an incredibly selfish society that promotes the needs of self over the needs of others.

Seven months ago I started a blog. At the time I hadn’t really grasped an idea of where I wanted to go I just knew that I wanted to write. As my struggle with depression intensified I realized that my suffering was opening a door to helping other people. It was at this time that “Confessions” was born. It’s a simple premise. I write with every ounce of honesty I have regardless of what needs to be said. All that I am trying to do is provide a shelter for the hurting to come and find hope. I’m confessing what’s inside so many of our heads. This world needs a change and the only way I see that happening is by being the change that I want to see.

If you happen upon my site you will find a community of people discussing some of the tougher topics in life. What does it mean to trust God when life is hopeless? What does it mean for the world to be more aware of Mental Health? Did you know that 40,000 people die from suicide each year? Did you know that 350,000,000 people worldwide suffer from depression? Ladies and gentleman, what we are experiencing is a silent epidemic. I fully believe that hope in God is the cure.

I’m fed up with the mental mandate in our society but that doesn’t mean I’m only going to whine about it. My life is committed to speaking for the voiceless. My heart is for giving hope to the hopeless. I am blessed to have been able to experience some sort of control over my depression but others hurt more than I can imagine. I won’t just stand by and let them hurt; I won’t stand by and let you hurt.

My heart is for you because Christ is for you. My heart is for you because this world is not. For as long as I am blessed with the chance to write my heart I will stand for those who don’t have the power to stand. While the world wants to hide behind a façade I’ll be screaming my Confessions – Matthew

Rolain

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Get Rid of That Mask!!!!

-How are you doing today John?
I went to the doctor today and found out I have Aids and to make things worse I lost my job. Please pray for me because I have come to the end of my rope. I have been contemplating suicide!

How you today Susan?
– I am fine.
Are you sure? I heard you lost your Dad.
– It’s nothing really I am doing great.
Are you sure you OK?
– For sure. I am OK.

How many of us have conversations are open like John? The second example is where most people are at. We don’t know how to be transparent. We have masted the ancient language of Christianese!!!
We may be going through hell but we have learned to hide our feelings. I am guilty of this as well. How many times I have said I am doing fine when something is clearly wrong!! But this is the thing, to grow and mature in the Lord we need to learn to take off the various masks we have. We need to stop hiding behind the masks and start being real. I am reading a book about the danger of mask wearing. I would like to share a few things that have really challenged me. As Christians we need to model transparency. We need to be real.  The world needs people who are real and not people who are wearing masks. Lets get going.

I am going to start with types of mask we wear. I thought this list was very interesting and identified a few I had been wearing.

Types of Masks.
– I’m better than most
– I’m very together
– I don’t really care
– I am self sufficient
– I’m very important
– I’m competent enough to be loved
– I’m competent enough not to need love
– I have the answers
– I’m independent
– I am cool

* As you can see, there are a lot of masks to chose from. Which mask could you identify with? I saw three masks that I constantly wear but I realise they need to go.
This is the high cost of wearing a mask.

-It is very expensive to wear a mask. For one thing, no-one – not even those I love – ever gets to see my face. There are moments when the real me bleeds through, but mostly I just confuse them. Worse yet, I never experience the love of others because when I wear a mask, only my mask receives love! I sense I’m still not loved and self-diagnose that maybe my mask wasn’t good or tight enough. So I delve even more desperately into mask wearing, convinced maybe the next one will present what you want and prove I’m worthy to receive your love. And if that’s not painful enough, get this. I cannot give love from behind a mask, at least not love from the real me. Mask wearing thwarts our maturing, the very path into the dreams God intended for us.

* That was a lot to take in but I really believe you needed that. We put on masks to hide the real person inside. We think that people will reject the real us so we hide. We become shallow and we don’t mature. As children of God we are called to be transparent. It is very hard to wear a mask when you are open. Let me share something else….

– Sadly, cruelly, our masks deceive us into believing that we can hide our true selves. Not so. In time, others can usually see what we’re trying to hide. No matter how beautifully formed, our masks eventually present us as tragic figures….because masks always crack or distort or buckle or unravel or wear through or lose shape.

*Let me help you with something. Get it in your head that you are not perfect. You are human and you have flaws. When this truth sinks in, you will have no reason to hide. You won’t have a reason to wear a mask. The book goes on to say:

– People wear masks for all sorts of reasons. Some of us opt for a mask because we fear we might not be accepted or, worse, that we may be viewed as unworthy of acceptance because we have already proven ourselves unacceptable. Perhaps we wear a mask because we fear that others won’t protect us and might leave us feeling naked and alone. Or we fear that others will protect us, but our protection will come at the price of their control. An example of this is,
Bruce feels threatened when a person in a key relationship doubts his motives or trustworthiness. He instinctively withdraws from that person by putting on an “I don’t really care” mask. Bill dons an “I’m not hurt” mask when he feels insecure and fears being abandoned. John puts on the “I am self-sufficient” mask any time he fears someone’s pity.
You see, mask-wearing is often even more pronounced in Christians.  Ouch! All mask-wearing is a product of pretending something to be true in our lives that our experience denies.

* I am going to stop there. There is so much more I can share but it will be too long and besides, I think you got the jist of what I am speaking about. Let us take off those masks. They are hindering our growth. God has called us to be transparent and real. Will you make a decision to be real? It will take time but it’s worth it

Rolain.

Thoughts and Feelings About 2012.

I have been thinking about this year. It has had good parts and bad and it wouldn’t be fair if I just focused on the good. There are things that I see that I know I could of done better and there are things I should of left well alone. So this post as hard as it is to write is about my failures. I realise that God has given me so much but I shouldn’t take them for granted. I will be accountable for the talents and opportunities I haven’t taken.
I am only going to touch on a few of the failures in the hope that as I read over them over time I avoid making the same mistakes.

The first thing is about the way I see. I have missed some important opportunities because I failed to see. Let me explain what I mean.
The church called for a prayer on the 12/12/12. This was a very significant day but I didn’t go because I had just finished doing a Christmas Production and 3 days of intense teaching. But because I was “tired” I missed out on meeting with God. I missed out on declaring things over my life and my church. I was so convicted. I failed to see that by going I would meet with God. I listened to my flesh and it robbed me of something precious!!!

The other opportunity I missed was when I travelled to Malaysia. I was given some spending money on the last day and instead of using it to pay off my trip I spent it on clothes and the like!!! Again, my flesh got in the way!! I felt so bad. How could I not see that opportunity?! There was an opportunity to put the money towards the trip but instead I used it on myself!!!

I started working at a coffee shop about 3 months ago and I have been lazy to work on my own company! I have seen opportunities and I know I can do both things but I have been lazy. It is crazy….!
The more I write the more I see how I have allowed the flesh to rule me!

I have a mentor and I felt I needed to speak to a certain man to be a mentor in my life. I have been putting it off for some months now. There are so many qualities that I want that I see in him but I have been procrastinating and I have been taught that procrastination is just delayed disobedience! There are times I wonder how God can use me………

The last thing I would like to talk about is sin. I have allowed myself to get comfortable with sin. There are things I am dealing with which came about by my own foolishness!!! How could I be so blind? There are things that I am fighting which I am really not supposed to be struggling with but am because I was just acting the fool………

This year has been a learning one. There are things that need to change. I am not going to have 2012 all over again. 2013 is going to be better and not because I rely on my own strength but because God is for me! Save me from my own craziness Lord.

I am not usually that raw but I needed to vent. If I can’t be transparent with you then what’s the point????
Please remember me in your prayers.
Rolain.