Singleness and its challanges…..!

“And her [promised] husband, being a just and upright 

man and not willing to expose her publicily and to shame

her, decided to repudiate and dismiss (divorce) her quietly

and secretly.

But as he was thinking this over, behold, an angel of the Lord

appeared to him in a dream, saying, Joseph, descendant of

David, do not be afraid to take Mary [as] your wife, for

that which is conceived in her is of (from, out of) the Holy

Spirit.

Matthew 1:19, 20

 

I love this passage of scripture. It challenges me so much as

a man. Joseph could of easily exposed Mary. It would of

been okay but he didn’t. He could of made her pay but

instead he decided to put her away quietly, secretly!

He didn’t know she was

pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit and

yet he sought to protect her!! In my eyes, Joseph is

THE man! What he did inspires and encourages me.

I could go and on but that is not why I shared his story

with you.

 

It’s been quite a week I must say. There have been things that

have happened this week that have made me think about

singleness more than usual.

For the record, I am at peace in my singleness. I decided

some time ago I would wait, really wait! God spoke to me

about how important this season is and if you would like

to read what He showed me then please click here.

 

Like I said before, this week, actually this past month has

been hectic. It started with a couple I met at a church

social. In short, the husband didn’t understand why I was

still single and actually suggested I wanted to get married

at fifty!! He then proceeded to try and hook me up with

a girl, not a specific girl but any girl. (you should of seen

the look on my face…haha) I was shocked!

 

That incident rattled me I must admit. I doubted if

I was doing the right thing – waiting!

I doubted if I really heard from God.

Is my head in the clouds?

Does God really have someone for me?

Those are the kind of thoughts I was dealing with.

A lot of people I know have been either getting engaged,

dating, or married. So you can imagine, I was not in a good

place!

 

It took a long time to get to a place of complete

trust in God for my wife. In the post I linked above I talked

about how I believed God was orchestrating my love story.

I was content with that. I was at peace that God was orchestrating

my love story. He was orchestrating the most amazing story not

because of anything I had done (not on the basis of never sleeping

with any girl or dating) but because He loved me. The reason He

would bless me with a wife was because He is good. All my

efforts to stay “pure” were rags in His eyes! They didn’t impress

Him and He was calling me to trust Him completely. He was

calling me to give Him this area of my life completely and I did.

It had been hard or so I thought, that was until the married

man I told you about said all those things.

 

After that I doubted everything God had promised me. As

friends were getting married and so on that doubt grew bigger

and bigger.

I even almost considered settling……

It was bad friends……yes, it WAS bad because God renewed

my faith this week. He showed me something in His word

that gave me hope again! I would like to share what He showed

me.

I shared Joseph’s story because there is a truth I want you to

see.

 

God was the integral part of Joseph and Mary’s union. On his own

Joseph would of left Mary but God intervened. He was involved,

He was directing his path……

There are many more examples in scripture where we see

God directing the affairs of men concerning who they were

to marry!

 

Remember Isaac and Rebekah. God led Abraham’s servant

right to Rebekah who was the daughter of Bethuel who was

Abraham’s relative (He was either a brother or nephew. I

am not too sure)!!!!

(read Genesis 24)

But this is the point, God was directly involved. He was not

idly sitting by watching Abraham’s servant. He was directing

him in his every step!

When it comes to our lives, that is what

He is doing. He is not idly sitting with crossed fingers hoping

we make the right choices. He is orchestrating things in our

lives but we have to let Him have His way.

And that’s what I did. I renewed my decision to wait on Him.

Things will come and rock my faith but I will keep on trusting.

 

If you are waiting on God for the person He has for you

know that He  can be trusted. He will not let you down.

People can talk, and let them. Your faith is in God and He

cares deeply for you.

It may seem like nothing is happening and time is going but

God WILL come through.

He is the One who is orchestrating your love story and

what a story He is orchestrating!

He can be trusted!

Blessings to you friends…..

 

Rolain

 

photo credit: Google images

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to pray for your future wife!

This post is a response to a post I read a few days ago, a post that  challenged me to the core. If you are a single woman I urge you to read it. The title of the post is called, “Dear Future Husband” and it is written by Samantha Hardcastle. You can read it here.

Men, I urge you to read it as well. It is an excellently written post and I think as men we need to know the kind of women we want and Samantha does a great job of holding up a Proverbs 31 woman. Anyway, let’s start. After reading the post I realized how important it is for us as men to do our part. We too need to pray for our wives. Samantha says,

‘These women don’t know if he has brown hair or orange hair – if he enjoys his coffee black or sweet – or if he’s been through hell and back. But they all share a common thread that all too easily, could be a lost art in one’s love life – and that is the act of praying.”

Men, prayer is important. Prayer is powerful and not to be taken lightly. I say that to you and to myself as a reminder. But I would like to go further with this because as men our responsibility is so much greater not because God made men better than women, but because God has a plan. We are to be the head. We are called to lead our families. We are called to protect and take care of them. The responsibility we have been given is very serious. So the question stands, how are we as men to pray for our wives?

I mentioned the first point. The actually act of praying is very important and key.

For the second point I would like to share something else from Samantha’s post,

“As I go through my past letters, a common theme I have prayed over him is that He would be a bold man for the things of God, bold in loving others, bold in living selflessly, bold in risking his personal comfort for more of Jesus. A man who is bold is the kind of man I want to hold”.

Another way of praying for your future wife is by preparing yourself in your singleness.

What habits need to be changed now? We don’t start when we get married, no! We start now. Ask God to show you habits that are not honoring to Him and ask your closest friends about the things you do that annoy them. Maybe you talk with food in your mouth or people can hear you from the other side of the world when you eat. Maybe you like getting up late every day or maybe you can’t resist flirting with other women, I don’t know. Just change habits that need to be changed.

Have a vision. As a man you are going to lead your family but how will you lead if you don’t have a vision? Let me rephrase that. How can you lead your family if you don’t know what your purpose is? Everyone has a purpose from God. Ask God to show you His purpose for your life.

Seek God with all of your heart. I put this third but it’s actually the most important thing a man can do. Without God we are nothing. He must be first in your life. He must be your consuming passion. He must be the one who occupies your thoughts constantly. He must be the one that completes you. Please listen to me on this point. A woman will not complete you. God is the only one, I repeat , the only one who will complete you…..The media has lied to us through movies and music that a man or woman will complete us but that is so not true. GOD IS THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL COMPLETE YOU. Ladies, if you find yourself relying on a man for meaning and purpose then you have been deceived! God is the only one who can give you that.

I will stop there for today. I have lots to share but I will stop there. I hope you got the gist of what I am saying. As men we need to pray for our wives too. They need our prayers as we need their prayers……It’s a two way thing.  Be vigilant; don’t take the assignment you have been given by God lightly. Your future wife is depending on you, she is praying for you!

Rolain

Purity and dating….What really matters here???

 

I had a thought the other day about my blog. I have rarely written anything

about dating. I have written a few posts here and there but nothing really substantial

about this very important piece of my life. It’s what I pray about constantly and talk to

God about. It’s an area I struggle trusting God in. If there is one thing I have

realized when it comes to finding the one, it’s we as people have no control over who we are to be with.

What I mean is God is the one directing us and guiding us in our relationships. He is involved

In the choosing process, it’s not just us. If it was up to me only I would of being married by now,

I would of chosen someone and that would have been that. But that is not the case for me. God has

really used this area of my life to teach me to trust in Him wholeheartedly! That is what I believe and

that is what I have experienced. This won’t apply to everyone. We are all unique and God works

differently in all our lives.

 

What is your point you might be asking??? Please bear with me a little longer. I am getting there….

 

I had a great week last week. It was great because God spoke to me about grace. I have always

known what grace is but last week was different. I got a whole new perspective on grace. But with

that perspective certain areas of my life were highlighted. The area of dating and relationships

was one of the areas that were highlighted in my life.

Let me explain. I have always prided myself in the values I have been taught concerning dating.

 

–         I have never dated in my life ever!

–         I have never kissed anyone passionately (That honor will go to my wife)!

–         I signed a covenant of chastity even.

 

 

There are others but this post is not about what my values are and getting the praise but about

what God showed me. These are the things that made me proud and even conceited. Because of the

values I had I thought I could dictate who I wanted. God, I want this kind of woman and she must

be that and and and………

I am so ashamed writing this because I was seriously misguided. This is not how God works.

One of the things I prided myself in……
But what matters is God’s grace!

 

Last week He showed me how getting a wife was not because of all the things I had done,

and the high standards I had and the values I believed in but because of His grace!

It is because of His grace that I will find the One. It won’t be because of my intelligence and

how holy I appear to be and how together I try to be but it will be because of His grace!!!!

This is one area He will get the glory! He wants the glory in every aspect of our lives.

When I realized this I was dumbfounded. How could I have not seen this?

 

Please understand me here, keeping yourself pure and all those other decisions about purity

you have made or should make are important. But those things need to be done to glorify God.

I had that intension when I first started out but it changed some where. It became about me

some where down the line.I will meet the woman God has for me because of His grace. I won’t

have anything to add on and say to God “but it’s because I did this or that…..no!”

That is how amazing God’s grace is. His grace extends to every other area of our lives and not just in

our relationships.

 

Will you lean fully on His grace? Don’t rely on what you have done or what you can do and and and….

Rely on His grace!

 

Rolain