The problem with being a virgin….!!!


It’s being a while since I have written about my

journey, my journey of singleness! It’s an important

season and we should give it the credit it deserves.

I am writing on singleness because there has been

something I have been wrestling with. I have been

wrestling with the significance of my virginity in the scope

of singleness.

 

For ages we have been told to wait, “don’t have sex

before marriage.” That is all good advise and that is not

the issue. The issue I have is when we are told we will get

God’s best if we keep ourselves!!! “You will get God’s best

if you don’t have sex and don’t date until you find the One.”

Before I carry on I want to make something very clear.

I have kept myself, I am a virgin, I haven’t dated yet and

years ago that was my pride and glory! I held that up

to everyone and even to God. I was going to get the best

because I was pure, I kept myself! But I was wrong.

The advise we have been getting is incomplete.

As the years go by I realize more and more

that the woman God has for me will not be given to me

because of what I have done, but because of His grace.

She will be a gift!

I don’t want to get anything based on my

performance because the truth of the matter is I would

not get anything! God looks at the

heart and my heart is sinful. I may not have slept around

but I have sinned incredibly in my heart!!

 

To be honest with you, I don’t deserve God’s best. I have let

Him down so much. How can I stand before Him holding

up MY version of purity (filthy rags) and with pride say,

“God give me your best”….!!!! It doesn’t work like that!

Don’t get caught up in law (I kept myself so I want this

kind of woman or this kind of man)

God is looking at your heart. He wants to give you the

best because He loves you not because you did this or

did that.

 

But if you have kept yourself please understand that I am

not attacking you. I want you to see that God will give you

the best because that is the kind of God He is.  Look at what the word says,

 

For God has not called us to impurity but to consecration

[to dedicate ourselves to the most thorough purity].

1 Thessalonians 4:7

 

The word says we should DEDICATE ourselves! That is

such a strong word. We dedicate ourselves to purity

because we want to honor God in our hearts of hearts!

We dedicate ourselves to purity because we love Him

with every fiber of our being.

When David committed sexual sin with Bathsheba he

ran to God. His heart was torn at what he had done.

But it was never about “I am a man after God’s heart”!

He saw himself as a man under God’s grace. He fought

to stay humble in his own eyes.

Don’t get caught up in the law side of things. We don’t

deserve anything from God to be honest. All the “good”

we have done is like filthy rags.

 

If God has someone out there for me it will be because He

loves me. And on my wedding day the focus won’t be on how

many years I kept myself, or how I never dated and so on but

the focus will be on God’s amazing grace and love.

It will be about how much God loved me a sinful man that He still

went ahead and gave me His best even though I didn’t deserve it!

It will be a day of praise

to Him. A day where people give Him the glory…….

I will have nothing else to stand on but His goodness

and grace and that is the way it should always be!

 

For those of you who think you have sinned so much that

you don’t deserve God’s best know this:

God loves you. He is a good God and He wants you to run

to Him. He knows what you have done but He wants to you

to trust Him. He has someone special for you.

Don’t believe the lie that there is no one for you. The lie

that says you have sinned too much.

The lie that says God can’t forgive you.

Just know, there is hope for you!

He has a plan for you.

 

God is so good. I think about all He does for me and

I thank Him. I have nothing to say. I am speechless.

I simply wait for His gifts and blessing that I didn’t

deserve or orchestrate. I do have a part to play but it

will not take away from ALL that God does for me.

Be encouraged in your season of singleness. God is

with you in it.

Have a great weekend everyone!

 

Rolain

 

 

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The disturbing dialogue…..and purity!


Going about my day I came across two guys talking. The conversation they had was quite disturbing and I couldn’t believe they were talking about it so casually. One of the guys was talking about his girlfriend. He was telling his friend how “hot” various parts of her body were. He went on to tell him about the tattoos she had and where they were on her body! Like I said, it was quite disturbing. To make it worse these boys were on the way from school which meant they were teens!

That got me thinking about purity. Was does it mean to be pure? As a young person what does it mean to keep yourself for the person God has for you? I don’t think not having sex before marriage is what makes you pure. There is much more….

Being pure means watching how you speak. That young boy was disrespecting his girlfriend by the way he spoke about her. If you are waiting for God’s one for you then watching how you speak is something you have to watch out. Instead of speaking in a obscene way pray for her. Speak the word. Build her up with your words. Respect her with your words. If you haven’t met her yet that doesn’t mean you have to wait. Start learning to be pure in the way you speak to the people around you. Let it be natural by the time you meet her. Speak life to your friends. Encourage them and build them up with your words.

Being pure means watching how you think. Those guys were not being pure. What are you thinking about? As a young person you need to learn how to control your thoughts. It doesn’t start when you get married. It starts now!! Change the way you think. Being pure is about being strict about what you watch because you know it will affect what you think about. There are a lot of things that can contaminate you if you are not careful.

Young men, what I have written falls heavier on you. I want you to make the connection between keeping yourself for your wife to be and thinking pure thoughts and speaking life. They are intertwined, connected! They all form together to create purity in its purest form! You can’t abstain from sex but have no control over your mouth! Or you cannot abstain from sex but always thinking about the naked women you saw on the internet! See how crazy that is. When you meet your wife you want to be completely whole, not partially whole! That is my goal and desire and I will fight for that.

We cannot allow the enemy to steal our purity. If you didn’t know that is what the enemy is doing. Bit by bit he is destroying our purity. He is doing everything he can to corrupt us. If it’s not through movies it’s through the music we listen to, if it’s not music then it’s the news we watch and the news we ready daily that puts us in a state of fear! We have all been affected but thank God for His grace because when we fall and fail He is there to pick us up! It’s hard writing this because I see how easily I fall, I see how I get deceived. I am all for purity and I am in this fight but the enemy has won a lot…….A lot of times I feel helpless and weak, like I don’t stand a chance and in a way I don’t if I am relying on my flesh. But even in the face of those kind of circumstances I will get up and dust myself off and fight.

The picture that comes to mind when I think about this fight we fight is one of Zeus and Atom, characters from the movie Real Steel. Atom is the under dog and doesn’t stand a chance against the reigning champion the mighty Zeus! During the fight Atom takes a lot of hits. Atom gets knocked to the floor constantly. But every time he gets knocked out he manages to some how get up. No matter how bad he has been beaten and thrown around he still gets up!!! And then something amazing happens, Atom begins to fight back. The champion that never got challenged, that never broke a sweat begins to get beaten. As the fight ends Zeus gets knocked to the floor which is something that has never been seen. We are Atom, we have a chance because God lives in us. He is the one that gives us the strength to stand again and again. He is the reason we don’t stay down after unrelenting attack! He is the reason we can face the fierce giants who threaten to destroy us!

Zeus and Atom!

The conclusion, purity is something worth fighting for. Don’t give up. No matter how much the enemy has stolen, you still have a chance because it is because of God you have a chance! We can face the onslaught of the enemy knowing God is with us. The enemy will  not win. We will protect this precious gift God has given to us to the death! The enemy will not steal our purity. He may be stronger, we may get knocked down but we WILL win, we WILL stand up again because God is with us! That is amazing…….!

Rolain

Are You Holy or Common??


I was in a service where the Pastor was speaking about holiness. It was a very powerful word. One thing that caught my attention was when he said the opposite of holy is common! That really struck me. How many times do we treat ourselves as common? I have seen how this attitude has crept into the body of Christ. I also realized why the world is so unholy. They take what God calls holy and treat it as common! Take pornography for instance. God created sex so we could enjoy it in the context of marriage but pornography takes this amazing gift God has given us and twists it and perverts it and makes it common! The media has made sure they portray sex as common. What was considered as a “No Under 18″ movie in the  90’s is now probably “No Under 15 or 12”! Another thing pornography does is desecrate the body God gave us. People  do horrific things with their bodies all in the name of pornography and that is just one example! How do I know this because I was hooked on pornography and I have seen how they have totally destroyed God’s gift. They have made it common!!! This is just one example but there are a lot of areas in life where people treat things as common.
We are a Holy Nation, a Holy Priesthood and God has called us to holiness but every time we treat something as common we reject holiness! I know that is a hard saying but that is the truth. How many times have we treated our friends as common?? We don’t see them as we are supposed to see them but instead we see and treat them as common! I know in my life there are things I have treated as common. The call to holiness is a serious one. What are you treating as holy in your life? Do you treat yourself as common? People do that by talking down on themselves. They have only bad things to say about themselves but God created you and you are not common. You were made with a purpose. You are wonderfully  and fearfully made. How do you treat your kids? They are not common! God has amazing plans for them. Encourage them and bring them up in the admonition of the Lord. Men, how do you treat your wives? Women, how do you treat your husbands? Kids, how do you treat your parents? I could go on and on but I think you catch my drift!Where are you treating things as common? Who are you treating as common? Ask for God’s help. Let us be holy in 2013!

Rolain