As humans we crave applause, attention and acceptance. We
want to be validated but how far will we go to get it?
As I talk about validation I really need to talk about self esteem
because in my eyes these two things are linked closely together.
When we esteem ourselves highly the less we look to man to
One of my mentor’s described self esteem this way, self esteem
is your estimation of your own worth!
How much value do you place on yourself?
Do you esteem yourself highly?
People may have their own opinions about
you but you should value yourself highly. You should be your
biggest fan no matter what.
But what should your estimation be based off? What is your
The word of God should be your measure!
God knows the truth about you so seek out what He says about
His word has so much amazing truths to declare to you about you….
Be real about your shortcomings but be wise how you approach
them. Tearing yourself down is probably doing more
damage than people’s negative words to you!
So like I said, be honest with yourself. When you make a mistake
admit it but correct yourself in a way that still
maintains your value. I was really bad at doing this. I used to tear
myself down badly. I thought that was the right thing to do
but I was wrong. No matter how wrong I am God would NEVER
tear me down so why do I think it’s okay??
We all sin so it’s natural to speak negative. We don’t need to put
much effort into speaking and thinking
negatively. It’s hard to NOT speak negatively. It’s hard to NOT
gossip. It’s hard to NOT think negatively.
We have to be very intentional and deliberate about being positive
and encouraging and we need help!
We need affirmation, we need encouragement, we need support but
is that the main drive behind everything we do?
“But when He was in Jerusalem during the Passover Feast, many
believed in His name [identified themselves with His party] after
seeing His signs (wonders, miracles) which He was doing.
But Jesus [for His part] did not trust Himself to them, because
He knew all [men];
And He did not need anyone to bear witness concerning man
[needed no evidence from anyone about men], for He Himself
knew what was in human nature. [He could read men’s hearts.]”
Jesus didn’t seek validation from man. He was content because
God validated Him!
“As soon as Jesus was baptized, He went up out of the water.
At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of
God descending like a dove and alighting on Him.
And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love;
with Him I am well pleased.”
Matthew 3:16, 17
What just happened there? Jesus was being validated!
He wasn’t looking for applause or encouragement from man,
He came to accomplish the mission He was given by God!
We need to be careful when it comes to who we look to for
Man never created you, God did so He is the only one qualified
to tell you who you really are.
Your best friend may know you better than the average person
but that doesn’t mean they know the real you.
It may be argued that your family knows you best but it’s just
not true. They know you better than anyone else but they still
don’t know the real you.
God is the only One who knows you in and out!
You can’t even trust your own assessment of who you really
are because once again, you didn’t create you, God did! So stop
with the “this is the way I am” statements because your
assessment is not 100% accurate.
Think about a house for a minute. Let’s say you are selling it.
It would be crazy asking a friend or random
stranger to tell you what the value of the house is. You have to go
to the real estate agency to get an accurate value.
Stop letting people tell you what your value is.
Today you have an opportunity to make a decision.
Just because someone sees you one way doesn’t mean that’s
who you are. (that’s really good news!!)
That’s the way they see you and not the way God sees you.
Because we are flawed we see in part. No one sees perfectly,
just God, remember that.
You don’t have to confine yourself to the perceptions of others.
You can break out of that.
You can decide to be the person God has created you to be. Let
Him show you who you really are. I believe there is so much to
still discover about ourselves. If we stop at, “this is the way I am” or
believe someone’s assessment of who we are then we limit
ourselves. If God really created us (which He did) surely there is
Surely there is more to us than what people see? !!!!
And on that note I will stop here.
If you are struggling with a low self esteem and you need to talk to someone click on the
Bless you friends!
Why do people not see how powerful their words are? Three hours have passed and I am still struggling with the words that were spoken to me by a pastor friend. He may have thought he was being sincere but his words reached their target. No matter who you are words hurt. You may be a seasoned Christian or the hulk but the fact remains, words hurt. I think I am a very confident person with a healthy self esteem but his words broke through all of that!
If your words are not going to build, encourage, inspire, and bring out the best in someone then don’t say it. Why would you say something you know will hurt someone? If you know it’s going to hurt them then don’t say it. Let us honor people by the way we speak to them. You may think you are being real and being realistic but you are simply hurting them. Yes people need to hear the truth and yes they need to be confronted but we need wisdom in how we speak to them!
As I conclude remember, no matter who you are words hurt.
This is part of three of my series on Hebrews 11. Read part two here. As I start this post I would like to share a verse that got my attention,
[Prompted] by faith Rahab the prostitute was not destroyed along with those who refused to believe and obey, because she had received the spies in peace [without enmity]. Hebrews 11: 31
Rehab is a hero of the faith but I wonder if she sees the same thing?? If we spoke to her now would she say she is a hero proudly? A lot of people read her story and are inspired and it is good but let us look deeper into her life. She was a prostitute and that meant a few things:
– She slept with men for money. It didn’t matter if the man was married or a drunk, or abusive, as long as they had money she would sleep with them.
– She was looked down upon by society.
– It’s very possible she struggled with a low self esteem
– She was finding it hard to make ends meet and maybe that is why she became a prostitute.
– She lived in fear (it’s possible she was threatened by men she slept with)
– No one respected her.
– She may have broken a few families up. It’s possible wives found out their husbands slept with Rahab and left!
– She must have dealt with guilt and condemnation on a regular basis because of the things she had to do. .
– Did she try to commit suicide???
I would like to make something clear before we move on,
I look up to Rahab and in no way am I trying to tear down her reputation and what God had done for her. I am trying to paint a picture of what she probably went through to make you understand what God saved her from. Because despite all the bad she did and all the bad that happened to her, through faith she was saved. Her name is recorded among the Greats because she trusted God! Because of faith she saved her family and was found in Jesus’s lineage!! (Matthew 1:5)
We need faith and without it we can do nothing pleasing to God. Do I understand what faith is? Not really. What I do know is God did amazing things through the people who trusted Him. No matter what people labeled them, or where they grew up, they turned the world upside down!
This is what the word says about these great men and women of faith,
[Men] of whom the world was not worthy–roaming over the desolate places and the mountains, and [living] in caves and caverns and holes of the earth. (Hebrews 11:38 AMP)
Think about all Rahab could of gone through. How could God use her, one could think but in the end what matters is He did! No one is too far off for God to use!
You might feel like you are of no use and your life doesn’t count for something. You might think you have committed too much sin to ever do anything great or you may be plagued with guilt and condemnation but know God has a plan for you! He wants to do great things through you and that is why He wants you to trust Him. Only God can turn your life into something great but you have to have faith in Him!
Rahab did that. She stepped out in faith to God despite what she had done and what people thought and saved the spies. As she used her faith her life changed never to be the same ever. What an amazing testimony for her. I am going to look forward to meeting her and hearing her story! Her story is an example of what God can do with someone who has faith in Him!
Our faith in God can do things we never imagined ever. It can open doors only God can open. Have faith in Him.
As I look back at my life I realize how God had a plan for me. There were times when it didn’t seem like it but He had a plan…….
– As a child going through abuse He had a plan for me
– Being told by my teachers I would amount to nothing, He had a plan
– When my family fell apart and got divorced He had a plan
– When I had to move in with my grand mother because of the divorce He had a plan
– On days when I constantly tore myself down (which was all the time) He had a plan for me
– When people laughed at me because I stammered He had a plan
– During times of hopelessness and despair over my future He had a plan
A lot has happened but God has been true. I couldn’t see Him at work through all that at the time but I see now how He kept me alive and safe. He preserved my destiny in spite of how messed up my life was. It’s amazing to think as I was going through all that, God had a plan already planned out for me. When I lost hope and belief in anything good God had something amazing in store for me. I didn’t even know Him for crying out loud but He had something in store for me, when I was in fear of being abused He had a plan for me, when my heart was broken because I thought I was a nobody God knew the plans He had set up for me……And that is what God does. I believe it is just the beginning and I look forward to more.
You might be going through trials and hardships that seem unbeatable but the fact is that God has a plan for you. Your life might be in pieces but know God has a plan for you. You might be abused at home but know God has a plan. You might be in the darkest of nights in your life but know that God has a plan for you. He has so much in store for you. Don’t give up, don’t quit. He knows who you are and He knows what you are going through……He will never leave you. Don’t believe the lies. Trust in Him.
I don’t know where to start and I don’t know how to begin this post. All I can say is that the word “gift” has
taken a whole new meaning for me. A few months ago I found out my friend, was leaving the country for good! We were first friends, then he became my boss, then pastor, then mentor, then family!
My world turned upside down that day. I had people leave before and it was painful but this, this was a whole new level.
My pastor’s wife called me and sat me down as she told me the news. I was devastated and confused. Why God I asked?
This can’t be happening I thought. I had known my mentor’s family for over 10 years! I knew them when they
had their first son. They have four boys now and I love them to bits. Anyway I remember going to God and
crying out to Him for answers to the question why. Nothing came. Instead revelation came……
God showed me how they were gifts from Him. I met my mentor when I had just met The Lord. I am a sinner
now but back then I was much worse. If there is a word worse than sinner I was it. I was truly lost. I had no
direction and no plan. I had crazy issues I was beginning to work out. I had just became a Christian and this new
life was still…..new! I was dealing with a lot of things. I had no confidence and I had no self esteem. When he
employed me a year after meeting him I stole money from him! It was that bad. I WAS that bad! But thank God he never fired me or called the police. He gave me a second chance…….
I didn’t trust anyone back then and when he tried to help me out I would think he had some evil intension! When he disciplined me at work I would take it personally. When he made a joke about me I would get extremely angry. My stuttering was so bad back then which didn’t really help things! So believe me when I say, things were bad back then, really bad!!!
But God used him and his wife to mold me into who God wanted me to be. They taught me so much. They stood by
me when I had family issues. They helped me out financially countless times. They sat down and taught me so much
about God and life. In one of the darkest times in my life they were there.
God showed me how that was not an accident.
He knew all the change that needed to happen in me. He saw all I was going through and because of that He sent them
into my life. They were gifts. We serve a God who is the giver of gifts but the mistake we make is thinking gifts come in the form of money only. That’s not true. God’s gifts are so much more than money. They are deeper than that. During that time I never thought of them as gifts. We had our good times together and we had hard and difficult times.
The fact of the matter is this. God sent me gifts in the form of my mentor and his family. I just didn’t know it at the time and I never gave them the honor they rightly deserved. I wish I never took them for granted. I wish I honored them more and thanked them more for all they had done for me. I can’t put into words all that they did for me. A lot of who I am is because of their input in my life.
They saw so much potential in me and stood by me patiently. They are my family. I am telling you all this because….
…….they left on Wednesday this week! It’s been a hard week I must admit. They had my back. But in the midst of the pain God showed me how He will bring other “gifts” into my life after all; those “gifts” came from Him. He is the giver of all gifts. My mentor and his family never willed or planned to do all they did for me. God was behind it all. My mentor never knew the kind of impact he would have in my life but God did because He planned it. God was behind it all……
Yes, I am sad and broken at them leaving but I am also at peace because God has some amazing “gifts” in store for me.
I pray I be a “gift” to someone else as well. Would God use me to be the kind of “gift” my mentor was to me……
Have you acknowledged the “gifts” God has put in your life? There is a reason He has placed them in your life.
Don’t take them for granted. Thank them for all they are doing for you. It is not easy for them. There is always a
sacrifice on their part. May we always appreciate the “gifts” God has given us, always!
* This post is dedicated to the Stewart family. *
I have been giving a few suggestions on what will help you stop stuttering. These suggestions are not things i made up but are things that i have tried and have seen work. I don’t stutter anymore. When i do it’s rare. I still use these principles that i am teaching you. As you now know, i believe stuttering can be stopped. I seen it in my life. And that is why i am here. When i stuttered in the past there was no one to help me. I was made fun of by people who didn’t understand. But i want to change that. I want you to know that you are not alone in this. There are people who understand what you going through. There is a way.
I have also realised that i have not told you what i believe the cure is. I have been giving you suggestions on how you can stop but i have never actually told you what the cure is. So in this post i will be addressing that.
I was physically abused as a child. That had an affect on my speech. I have been a stutterer as long as i can remember. And it wasn’t easy. By the end of it all i had no self-esteem. My confidence had been destroyed, totally! But God intervened and helped me. If it wasn’t for His help i don’t know where i would be today.
Down the years i realised how there was a direct correlation between my self-esteem and my improvement! The more confident i became in who i was the less i stuttered. My confidence grew and grew until i stopped stuttering completely! I couldn’t believe it. And that is what i believe the cure is- having confidence and a high self-esteem.
It’s having a confidence in who you are and having a confidence in who God says you are. Do you know who you are in God? Do you know what He says about you? These are all important questions that need to be answered. There is a story in the word that backs up what i am saying. That story is in Exodus and it’s about Moses. It’s believed that he stuttered. (Exo 4:10)
God then sends him his brother Aaron to speak on his behalf because Moses can’t see fluency. All he sees is his speech impendment. Maybe he had been ridiculed by his friends. Maybe he had been told what a wierdo he was because of the way he spoke. Maybe he had tore himself down so much because of it. But whatever the reason, it made him just see stuttering. Even when God assured him He would be with him he still said no.
(And the Lord said to him, Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes the dumb, or the deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? Is it not I, the Lord?
Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and will teach you what you shall say.
And he said, Oh, my Lord, i pray You, send by the hand of [some other] whom You will [send].
Then the anger of the Lord blazed against Moses; He said, Is there not Aaron your brother, the Levite? I know he can speak well. Also, he is coming out to meet you, and when he sees you, he will be overjoyed. Exo 4:11-14)
Is that the way you see as well? Do you just see stuttering? People may be telling you how much potential you have and the things you going to do but all you see is stuttering! That needs to change.
Anyway let’s move on. Aaron is now speaking on behalf of his brother Moses. Moses tells him what to say and Aaron then speaks. That was the arrangement.
But then we see a change. In exodus 8:9 we see Moses speaking to Pharoah! We also see a change in the way things are supposed to be.
In Exodus 7:19 it reads; And the Lord said to Moses, say to Aaron, Take your rod and stretch out your hand over the waters of Egypt,
This is the way things are supposed to be, this is the arrangement. Nothing wrong with that right. But the change comes one verse later.
In Exodus 8:1 it reads; Then the Lord said to Moses, Go to Pharoah and say to him, Thus says the Lord, Let My people go, that they may serve Me.
Did you see that? God tells Moses to talk to Pharoah instead of telling Aaron to go and speak. Then later on in the chapter we read:
Moses said to Pharoah, Glory over me in this; dictate when I shall pray [to the Lord] for you, your servants, and your people, that the frogs may be destroyed from you and your houses and remain only in the river. Exodus 8:9
Moses is now speaking to Pharoah directly! What has changed? I believe Moses came to a realisation that God was true to His word. I believe Moses was confident because he finally believed what God said about him.
I believe our confidence comes from knowing who we are in God. Can you apply this if don’t know Christ? I don’t know the answer to that question. The steps i write about can be used by anyone i guess. They are very practical steps anyone can use. So if you don’t believe in God and you struggle with stuttering, you can still use the steps. But my desire is that you come to know God. He is the Saviour of the world. He is the One that saved me. Without Him i would not be where i am today. And i want you to know that He does care about you. You just have to invite Him into your life.
So that is what i believe about stuttering. Confidence is the answer. It is the cure, or can i say it helps in the process of being cured. One thing i don’t want you to be is narrow minded when it comes to the cure. This is what has worked for me. Something else may have worked for someone else. It’s just a matter of time before you find out other ways. I know for a fact that there are people who have stopped stuttering. You just have to find them out. For now i encourage you to apply the principles i am still going to teach you. Use the ways i talk about. They will make a difference in your life. Remember and never forget that stuttering is not for life.