If God wasn’t for me…….


This week has been a very testing week for me. It is said, you know more of who you are in times of hardships and trouble and I agree. On Monday I was called in by the officer in charge of my case. If you have no idea what I am referring to then please read this here.

Meeting with him was not the problem. It was the conversations I had after I met him. I met with one of my friends and he talked about jail and how the police were trying to pin the case on me. Fear gripped my heart after that! I started thinking about all the bad things that could happen. I could go to jail, I won’t be able to travel until the case is resolved, and many other thoughts……

But in the midst of fear God has been speaking! He has been using people and His word!! Today I was deeply ministered by the story of Peter walking on water which was written by Anna. Click here to read her post! It is so powerful! I was also ministered by a word I read which has really helped me in this time!

If God hadn’t been for us – all together now, Israel, sing out!          Psalm 124: 1

That is how it starts. Let me share a few of the things that jumped out at me as I read the scripture:

If God hadn’t been for us when everyone went against us,

we would have been swallowed alive by their violent anger,

swept away by the flood of rage,

drowned in the torrent;

We would have lost our lives in the wild, raging water.

 

If God wasn’t for us we would be in deep trouble. We would be helpless and we would have no hope! That would be our testimony IF God wasn’t for us! But He IS so our story is different! Because God is for us we have a chance!

Because God is for us we will live!

Because God is for us we will not drown!

Because God is for us we will win!

Because God is for us we will be saved!

I was was so encouraged as I read that. No matter how bad things appear I know God is for me and because of that I have a good ending! I will not be left alone, I will not lose.

Oh, blessed be God!

He didn’t go off and leave us.

He didn’t abandon us defenseless,

helpless as a rabbit in a pack of snarling dogs.” Psalm 124:6

I am at peace as I read this. I am not alone in the storm! He is with me every step of the way and He is with you too…..!!! Don’t lose heart! Your story is not finished. The enemy will not have victory over you. He will not have the last laugh! Never!!!

Your testimony starts with, “Because God is with me…..!!!!

Look at what the last part of the chapter says,

 

God’s strong name is our help,

the same God who made heaven and earth.

 

The One who created heaven and earth is the One who is helping you!!!! Think on that, meditate on it! What a powerful truth!

The Creator of heaven and earth is the One who is helping you!

I am lost for words……! We truly serve an amazing God! Look to Him, and trust in Him! He is with you…..Amen!

Rolain

 

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The Tuesday that changed everything……..


I have not written in a while. Not because I had nothing to write about, but because I was involved in a car accident! To be honest I didn’t want to write, I guess it was shock! It is not easy writing about the accident but after a week I know God has been challenging me to write about what happened!

 

Last Tuesday……

I was on my way to do shopping when a man ran out on the road unexpectedly! Thank God it was raining because it made me drive slowly! Anyway this guy ran out on the road and before I knew it he was in front of me. I tried to avoid him by turning sharply away from him but I was not successful. I hit him with the side of my bumper which sent him falling to the other lane.

But another car going much faster bumped him and sent him flying in the air. He landed on his head. I was not alone in the car so we jumped out of the car and ran to the man. We called the ambulance a few minutes after that. When they finally arrived they tried to revive him but it was too late, he had lost too much blood. He was declared dead…….

I can’t begin to describe to you the feelings and emotions that I went through. I was in shock! I couldn’t believe he had died! I just stood there in the rain looking at the corpse! I saw life leave him…….

 

God’s goodness……

During this traumatic time a few things happened which I can only describe as God’s amazing love. A friend who I had not seen for at least 5 years saw my car and stopped to help!! I had seen him earlier in the day which was amazing in its self but a few hours later in another part of town he stopped to help me! That was God indeed.

In a few minutes of him leaving another close friend of mine who heard the news arrived! As a guy I was putting on a strong front for the people that were at the scene but when my friend came he understood. He saw through the front I had made. I broke down when he came. We embraced and he kept on telling me, “It wasn’t my fault”! Once again I can’t tell you what that did for me! God knew what I needed. It wasn’t something I could put into words but He knew. When I stopped crying my friend left. But those few minutes he spared were so crucial that day! Sometime after that another friend came. He was driving when he seen me. He turned his car around and came and asked if I needed anything. There was nothing he could do at that precise moment so he left but as I left the scene of the accident with the police he returned with a hot cup of coffee! I had been in the rain the whole time and I was freezing but I never noticed it until he handed me the cup of coffee….!!  God is so good.

 

Lessons learned…..

Things have changed since that day. My relationship with God has gone deeper. It’s crazy to think but a few weeks before the accident I would have days where I would get nothing from the word, just dryness! Nothing would jump out at me but after the accident, it was like I was reading a different bible. The bible I was reading was alive. Every day had something new and something for me, something I could hold on to. My prayer times where different. In actual fact they still are. Something has changed. It’s like the blinders have been taken off. I see God more clearly! When I read my word I see Him, when I listen to music (worship music) I hear Him, I see Him in people when they come to encourage me, and pray for me, when I spend time with Him I feel Him!

Whatever pain or tragedy you are going through know that God has a plan in the midst of the pain! He wants you to run to Him. And as you run to Him, He will comfort and deliver you. He will not leave you to go through the pain alone! He will be with you every step of the way! His hand will be on you……That’s a promise!

 

Today……..

I am still waiting on the police. They are still working on the case and I am waiting for them to come to a decision. They can press charges or let it go. I am believing for the latter! I would really appreciate your prayers in this time!

I am much better than last week. I realize I will never forget what happened that day and I need to make a decision how I go from here. I can live in guilt and blame myself and I can live in fear of driving and so on or I can trust God!

Rolain

The “Gifts” God gives us…..!


I don’t know where to start and I don’t know how to begin this post. All I can say is that the word “gift” has

taken a whole new meaning for me. A few months ago I found out my friend, was leaving the country for good! We were first friends, then he became my boss, then pastor, then mentor, then family!

My world turned upside down that day. I had people leave before and it was painful but this, this was a whole new level.

My pastor’s wife called me and sat me down as she told me the news. I was devastated and confused. Why God I asked?

This can’t be happening I thought. I had known my mentor’s family for over 10 years! I knew them when they

had their first son. They have four boys now and I love them to bits.  Anyway I remember going to God and

crying out to Him for answers to the question why. Nothing came. Instead revelation came……

 

God showed me how they were gifts from Him. I met my mentor when I had just met The Lord. I am a sinner

now but back then I was much worse. If there is a word worse than sinner I was it. I was truly lost. I had no

direction and no plan. I had crazy issues I was beginning to work out. I had just became a Christian and this new

life was still…..new! I was dealing with a lot of things. I had no confidence and I had no self esteem. When he

employed me a year after meeting him I stole money from him! It was that bad. I WAS that bad! But thank God he never fired me or called the police. He gave me a second chance…….

 

I didn’t trust anyone back then and when he tried to help me out I would think he had some evil intension! When he disciplined me at work I would take it personally. When he made a joke about me I would get extremely angry. My stuttering was so bad back then which didn’t really help things! So believe me when I say, things were bad back then, really bad!!!

But God used him and his wife to mold me into who God wanted me to be. They taught me so much. They stood by

me when I had family issues. They helped me out financially countless times. They sat down and taught me so much

about God and life. In one of the darkest times in my life they were there.

 

God showed me how that was not an accident.

He knew all the change that needed to happen in me. He saw all I was going through and because of that He sent them

into my life. They were gifts. We serve a God who is the giver of gifts but the mistake we make is thinking gifts come in the form of money only. That’s not true. God’s gifts are so much more than money. They are deeper than that. During that time I never thought of them as gifts. We had our good times together and we had hard and difficult times.

 

The fact of the matter is this. God sent me gifts in the form of my mentor and his family. I just didn’t know it at the time and I never gave them the honor they rightly deserved. I wish I never took them for granted. I wish I honored them more and thanked them more for all they had done for me. I can’t put into words all that they did for me. A lot of who I am is because of their input in my life.

They saw so much potential in me and stood by me patiently. They are my family. I am telling you all this because….

…….they left on Wednesday this week! It’s been a hard week I must admit. They had my back. But in the midst of the pain God showed me how He will bring other “gifts” into my life after all; those “gifts” came from Him. He is the giver of all gifts. My mentor and his family never willed or planned to do all they did for me. God was behind it all. My mentor never knew the kind of impact he would have in my life but God did because He planned it. God was behind it all……

Yes, I am sad and broken at them leaving but I am also at peace because God has some amazing “gifts” in store for me.

I pray I be a “gift” to someone else as well. Would God use me to be the kind of “gift” my mentor was to me……

 

Have you acknowledged the “gifts” God has put in your life? There is a reason He has placed them in your life.

Don’t take them for granted. Thank them for all they are doing for you. It is not easy for them. There is always a

sacrifice on their part. May we always appreciate the “gifts” God has given us, always!

 

 

* This post is dedicated to the Stewart family. *

The Stewart family!

The Stewart family!

 

Rolain.