Where does your validation come from??


i-am-of-worth

As humans we crave applause, attention and acceptance.  We

want to be validated but how far will we go to get it?

As I talk about validation I really need to talk about self esteem

because in my eyes these two things are linked closely together.

When we esteem ourselves highly the less we look to man to

validate us.

 

One of my mentor’s described self esteem this way, self esteem

is your estimation of your own worth!

 

How much value do you place on yourself?

Do you esteem yourself highly?

 

People may have their own opinions about

you but you should value yourself highly. You should be your

biggest fan no matter what.

But what should your estimation be based off? What is your

measure?

The word of God should be your measure!

God knows the truth about you so seek out what He says about

you.

His word has so much amazing truths to declare to you about you….

 

Be real about your shortcomings but be wise how you approach

them. Tearing yourself down is probably doing more

damage than people’s negative  words to you!

 

So like I said, be honest with yourself. When you make a mistake

admit it but correct yourself in a way that still

maintains your value. I was really bad at doing this. I used to tear

myself down badly. I thought that was the right thing to do

but I was wrong. No matter how wrong I am God would NEVER

tear me down so why do I think it’s okay??

We all sin so it’s natural to speak negative. We don’t need to put

much effort into speaking and thinking

negatively. It’s hard to NOT speak negatively. It’s hard to NOT

gossip. It’s hard to NOT think negatively.

We have to be very intentional and deliberate about being positive

and encouraging and we need help!

 

We need affirmation, we need encouragement, we need support but

is that the main drive behind everything we do?

 

But when He was in Jerusalem during the Passover Feast, many

believed in His name [identified themselves with His party] after

seeing His signs (wonders, miracles) which He was doing.

But Jesus [for His part] did not trust Himself to them, because

He knew all [men];

And He did not need anyone to bear witness concerning man

[needed no evidence from anyone about men], for He Himself

knew what was in human nature. [He could read men’s hearts.]”

John 2:23-25

 

Jesus didn’t seek validation from man. He was content because

God validated Him!

 

“As soon as Jesus was baptized, He went up out of the water. 

At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of

God descending like a dove and alighting on Him. 

And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love;

with Him I am well pleased.”

Matthew 3:16, 17

What just happened there? Jesus was being validated!

He wasn’t looking for applause or encouragement from man,

He came to accomplish the mission He was given by God!

 

We need to be careful when it comes to who we look to for

validation.

Man never created you, God did so He is the only one qualified

to tell you who you really are.

Your best friend may know you better than the average person

but that doesn’t mean they know the real you.

It may be argued that your family knows you best but it’s just

not true. They know you better than anyone else but they still

don’t know the real you.

God is the only One who knows you in and out!

You can’t even trust your own assessment of who you really

are because once again, you didn’t create you, God did! So stop

with the “this is the way I am” statements because your

assessment is not 100% accurate.

 

Think about a house for a minute. Let’s say you are selling it.

It would be crazy asking a friend or random

stranger to tell you what the value of the house is. You have to go

to the real estate agency to get an accurate value.

Stop letting people tell you what your value is.

Today you have an opportunity to make a decision.

Just because someone sees you one way doesn’t mean that’s

who you are. (that’s really good news!!)

That’s the way they see you and not the way God sees you.

Because we are flawed we see in part. No one sees perfectly,

just God, remember that.

You don’t have to confine yourself to the perceptions of others.

You can break out of that.

You can decide to be the person God has created you to be. Let

Him show you who you really are. I believe there is so much to

still discover about ourselves. If we stop at, “this is the way I am” or

believe someone’s assessment of who we are then we limit

ourselves. If God really created us (which He did) surely there is

more right??

Surely there is more to us than what people see? !!!!

 

And on that note I will stop here.

If you are struggling with a low self esteem and you need to talk to someone click on the

link below.

 

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/i-need-someone-to-talk-to-about-my-problems-but-where-do-i-turn/

 

Bless you friends!

 

Rolain

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The passion that offended many…..


 

Don’t let another person’s lack of passion determine your passion!

 

As He came near to Jericho, it occurred that a blind man 

was sitting by the roadside begging. 

And hearing a crowd going by, he asked what it meant. 

They told him, Jesus of Nazareth is passing by. 

Luke 18:35-43

 

I was challenged by the blind man in this passage of scripture.

He was blind and needed, desperately needed a touch from God!

What challenged me was his passion. It was raw, uncensored,

untamed, bold!!

As a Christian in today’s world can we follow Christ with a tame,

steril passion, if you can call it that?

The blind man’s passion made people around him uncomfortable.

Look at what the word says,

 

And he shouted, saying Jesus, Son of David, take pity and have

mercy on me!

But those who were in front reproved him, telling him to keep

quiet; yet he screamed and shrieked so much the more, Son of

David, take pity and have mercy on me!

Luke 18:38, 39

 

He screamed and shrieked so much the more!!

 

Jesus was passing by and there was nothing and nobody who

would stop him from getting a touch from Him.

We need that kind of raw, untamed, uncensored passion

if we are going to make our life count for Christ.

Jesus is passionately in love with us so how can we give Him

any less?

Let us not allow other people to dictate how passionate we should

be.

Let us be passionate about our Lord.

He is the one after all who gave His life for us!

I want my passion to get His attention don’t you?

I want to live out my passion for Him and not just talk

about it!!

He is my everything and deserves nothing but the best!

Let us follow the example of the blind man!

Bless you friends!!

 

photo credit: Google images

 

Rolain

 

 

 

 

The problem with being a virgin….!!!


It’s being a while since I have written about my

journey, my journey of singleness! It’s an important

season and we should give it the credit it deserves.

I am writing on singleness because there has been

something I have been wrestling with. I have been

wrestling with the significance of my virginity in the scope

of singleness.

 

For ages we have been told to wait, “don’t have sex

before marriage.” That is all good advise and that is not

the issue. The issue I have is when we are told we will get

God’s best if we keep ourselves!!! “You will get God’s best

if you don’t have sex and don’t date until you find the One.”

Before I carry on I want to make something very clear.

I have kept myself, I am a virgin, I haven’t dated yet and

years ago that was my pride and glory! I held that up

to everyone and even to God. I was going to get the best

because I was pure, I kept myself! But I was wrong.

The advise we have been getting is incomplete.

As the years go by I realize more and more

that the woman God has for me will not be given to me

because of what I have done, but because of His grace.

She will be a gift!

I don’t want to get anything based on my

performance because the truth of the matter is I would

not get anything! God looks at the

heart and my heart is sinful. I may not have slept around

but I have sinned incredibly in my heart!!

 

To be honest with you, I don’t deserve God’s best. I have let

Him down so much. How can I stand before Him holding

up MY version of purity (filthy rags) and with pride say,

“God give me your best”….!!!! It doesn’t work like that!

Don’t get caught up in law (I kept myself so I want this

kind of woman or this kind of man)

God is looking at your heart. He wants to give you the

best because He loves you not because you did this or

did that.

 

But if you have kept yourself please understand that I am

not attacking you. I want you to see that God will give you

the best because that is the kind of God He is.  Look at what the word says,

 

For God has not called us to impurity but to consecration

[to dedicate ourselves to the most thorough purity].

1 Thessalonians 4:7

 

The word says we should DEDICATE ourselves! That is

such a strong word. We dedicate ourselves to purity

because we want to honor God in our hearts of hearts!

We dedicate ourselves to purity because we love Him

with every fiber of our being.

When David committed sexual sin with Bathsheba he

ran to God. His heart was torn at what he had done.

But it was never about “I am a man after God’s heart”!

He saw himself as a man under God’s grace. He fought

to stay humble in his own eyes.

Don’t get caught up in the law side of things. We don’t

deserve anything from God to be honest. All the “good”

we have done is like filthy rags.

 

If God has someone out there for me it will be because He

loves me. And on my wedding day the focus won’t be on how

many years I kept myself, or how I never dated and so on but

the focus will be on God’s amazing grace and love.

It will be about how much God loved me a sinful man that He still

went ahead and gave me His best even though I didn’t deserve it!

It will be a day of praise

to Him. A day where people give Him the glory…….

I will have nothing else to stand on but His goodness

and grace and that is the way it should always be!

 

For those of you who think you have sinned so much that

you don’t deserve God’s best know this:

God loves you. He is a good God and He wants you to run

to Him. He knows what you have done but He wants to you

to trust Him. He has someone special for you.

Don’t believe the lie that there is no one for you. The lie

that says you have sinned too much.

The lie that says God can’t forgive you.

Just know, there is hope for you!

He has a plan for you.

 

God is so good. I think about all He does for me and

I thank Him. I have nothing to say. I am speechless.

I simply wait for His gifts and blessing that I didn’t

deserve or orchestrate. I do have a part to play but it

will not take away from ALL that God does for me.

Be encouraged in your season of singleness. God is

with you in it.

Have a great weekend everyone!

 

Rolain