A season for God!


a-season-for-god

I want to ask you a question.

In the season you currently in, are you maximizing it for God?

Are you giving it a 100%?

Young man, young women, God wants you to maximize the

season you are in.

Stop thinking of singleness as a type of “transit” because it’s not.

God expects growth!

Like the men who were given talents to trade with and increase,

God expects the same. (Matthew 25:14-30)

The man who hid his talent was not the hero.

He was not rewarded for being wise.

Instead, he was scolded and rebuked!

 

Life doesn’t start when you get married. It starts now!

Whether you are married or single the expectation is still the same,

maximize the season you are in.”

I have entitled this post “A season for God” because I believe

we should be bringing Him glory in

whatever season we are in.

If single, if married, bring Him glory by living the life He has

for you! Enjoy it, thank Him for it!

Maximize the season you are in.

 

Priscilla and Aquilla (married)

Paul met this amazing couple when he went to Corinth (Acts 18:2)

They were tentmakers like Paul.

This couple opened up their home to Paul (Acts 18:3)

There were many couples in Paul’s time but the Word mentions

Priscilla and Aquilla!

They were maximizing the season they were in!

 

“Now a certain Jew named Apollos, born at Alexandria, an

eloquent man and mighty in

the Scriptures, came to Ephesus.

This man had been instructed in the way of the Lord; and

being fervent in spirit, he spoke and

taught accurately the things of the Lord, though he knew only

the baptism of John.

So he began to speak boldly in the synagogue.

When Aquila and Priscilla heard him, they took him aside

and explained to him the way of

the God more accurately. “ (emphasis mine)

Acts 18:24-26

 

Aquila and Priscilla had embraced the season they were in.

As a couple they were advancing the gospel. They were living

out what God called them to.

 

 

Timothy (single)

“Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers

in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in purity.

Till I come, give attention to the reading, to exhortation, to

doctrine.

Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by

prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership. “

1 Timothy 4:12-14

 

It is clear from reading Paul’s journeying that Timothy was very

important to him. Timothy was being mentored by Paul.

Timothy was fearless and his love for

God was very evident. He might of being a pastor!

Whatever the case, Timothy maximized the season he was in.

He played a key part in the spread of the gospel.

He was totally devoted to God. He didn’t hold anything back!

He threw himself into what God had called him to do. He was

on fire for God.

 

I shared these two stories so you could understand what I am

saying.

Whether single or married live for God.

Seek Him and His will.

 

If you are single I can’t emphasis enough how important it is

to get started with life.

God has so much in store for you right now!

Take your worry, take your concern and give them to God

because He really does care how you feel. He wants the best for you.

 

As I close will you join me in making a decision to make this

season we are in a season for God?

 

Bless you friends!

 

Rolain

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Learning a few important things in my season of singleness!


image

There are a lot of single people out there who are anxious,

depressed, fearful and a whole lot of other things about their

singleness.

And there are a lot of single people who are not maximizing their

season of singleness but I want to address that today. As a single

person myself I know the struggle. There is so much we go

through but I want to tell you there is more…..

Singleness is not meant to be wasted on worrying about who

we are going to marry. There is so much more to singleness

than that. God knows who you will marry. You can trust Him

friends. He has got this!

 

If singleness is not supposed to be spent worrying about who we

are to marry then what is it for??

After all, singleness like marriage was created by God.

 

Singleness is a great time to work on you!

Don’t wait till you get married to work on yourself. Start now!

 

Have you got a vision for your life?

Is your relationship with God where you want it to be be?

Are you living a life of purity in thought and deed?

 

Do you have a vision for your life?

If not, this is the time to seek the Lord.

Men, this falls on you more because one day you will lead your

family. How can you lead if you have no vision for your life?

Having a vision for your life is not a one day gig. It takes time,

it takes patience, it takes being faithful with what God has put

in your hands, it takes faith, it takes getting on your knees

and seeking the Lord, it takes sacrifice.

 

How can we paint singleness as this boring stale season when

there is so much to learn, so much potential to grow, so much

discovering! Everything that comes from God is good so how can

singleness be bad??

 

Singleness has its challenges but so does marriage.

 

Is your relationship with God where you want it to be? 

Seek the Lord with everything within you in your singleness!

Chase after God when you single! Seek Him, pursue Him!

This is the time you discover who you are in God.

Your identity and worth should be in God alone and not a man or

woman.

A man dear sister will not complete you.

A woman dear brother will not complete you.

God is the only one that makes you whole. He is the one

who will complete you.

In your singleness learn this truth.

Rely on the Lord, run to Him, trust Him!

 

Are you living a life of purity in thought and deed?

What a challenge this is. But it’s a challenge to accept!

The world has made it crystal clear that there is no place

in it for purity!

It’s no longer honorable to be a virgin

People look at you funny if you haven’t dated

If you are dating it’s not cool to be with one person!

Kiss whoever you want, have sex with whoever you want, watch

whatever you want, think however you want, it’s

cool says the world. Do what you feel, it’s your life!

 

But that’s not God’s standard. He says if we even think

lustfully, we have sinned.

As He is is holy we must be holy. (He wasn’t suggesting, He was

commanding!)

Treat the young girls like your sisters and the older women

like your mothers!

The standard is high friends!

Like vision, living a life of purity is not a one day gig.

It is a life time thing.

It’s never too late to live a life of purity. When you fall keep

getting back up. I will admit the fight has become more intense,

more brutal. But we have to keep fighting to live a pure life.

I have fallen numerous times but I keep getting up.

Let’s live a life of purity in our singleness.

 

By now, I hope you are beginning to see how important your

season of singleness is.

It’s an exciting time of discovering who you are in God,

hearing from God, engaging the enemy, learning

new things.

Life doesn’t start when you get married, it starts now when

you are single.

 

We need God in our singleness. We need God in our marriages!

We need God period!

 

You have a decision to make for those of you who are

single.

You can make a decision to have the best time of your life

in your singleness or you can remain worried and stressed about

something God has already dealt with. He has got this!

He knows exactly who you are going to marry.

Bring your anxiety to Him. Let Him carry your burdens.

There is so much more we need to be doing now in this

season!

What will you decide??

God bless you friends

 

Rolain

A talk about singleness and the future….


singleness truth

 

I want to share a scripture that ministered to me recently.

 

“My soul languishes and grows faint for Your salvation, but I

hope in Your word.

My eyes fail, watching for [the fulfillment of] Your promise,

I say when will You comfort me?

For I have become like a bottle [a wineskin blackened and

shrieveled] in the smoke [in which it hangs], yet I do not forget

Your statutes.”

Psalm 119: 81-83

 

I really needed this scripture. I have been

thinking about my singleness and when God will bring the woman

He has for me. I have written about the times I tried to speed up

the process in my own time and how that didn’t work. I have also

written about the decision I made to wait on the Lord concerning

the one.

Waiting is not easy but the scripture I shared talks about how

we must hang on to His word even when we are at the end of

ourselves. Even when nothing is happening, we must hold on

to His word.

 

“My soul languishes and grows faint for Your salvation”

“My eyes fail, watching for [the fulfillment of] Your promise”

“For I have become like a bottle [a wineskin blackened and

shrieveled] in the smoke”

 

The author is fighting a battle. He is at war in the midst of the

wait. I will say it again, waiting is not easy.

He seems to be losing actually but……

Even when everything is going wrong around him, even though

his answer hasn’t been answered yet, even though there is no

evidence that suggests any kind of change in his situation,

his hope is in the Lord!

 

Reading that gave me hope. As I was thinking about all this I

realised something,

 

God has got my situation in control for sure and He is faithful.

But I have been letting marriage consume me

again and forgetting about the now. I have not been appreciative

of the season of singleness I am in now! It’s a gift….

If He wants me to be married I will be but right now I need

to be focusing on what He has for me right now.

I know that I know God is in full control of my life. He is

directing my every step and even though the wait is so

hard at times He wants me to trust Him for my future but

live!

He doesn’t want the future to paralyse me in the present. If

it’s doing that then there is a problem.

God never intended the future to paralyse me in the

present. He has amazing things in store for me in the future but

He also has amazing things in store for me right now!

 

If you are single don’t fall into the same trap I fell into.

Understand God has got you. He knows all of your concerns

and fears. He has heard your prayers concerning the One.

 

Trust God for your future and trust Him in the now. He is in both

times! How amazing it will be when you get married but don’t

discount the season you are in now. God has got so much for you

in your season of singleness.

For a long time people have thought “singleness” and “in transit”

were the same but they were wrong. Singleness is not a sort of

“transit” as you get to the real destination (marriage).

He wants you to be blessed now as well as in the future.

 

So what am I saying?

 

Wait on the Lord. No matter how hard it gets, wait on Him.

Hold on to His word. Understand beyond a doubt that He has got

you. He has heard your prayer and He will bring to pass what

you are trusting Him for.

But don’t let the desire for marriage blind you from what God

is doing now. Don’t let it blind you from living 100% for God

today.

Don’t let the fears and anxieties you have about the future

steal your joy now. Don’t let those things keep you in a state

of fear and hoplessness!

God will lead you to the person He has for you. That is not

even a question. Have faith and live!

Blessings to you…..

 

Rolain

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It really starts with me…!


 

It feels like I haven’t written for ever but it’s been just over a

week. I attended a children’s ministry training and a few days

later I went for a Children’s ministry camp. It’s been kids,

kids, and more kids and I love it. Camp was amazing. I know the

kids had fun but I enjoyed it just as much as they did.

A scripture has been on my heart ever since I got back.

 

“Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness

[to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the

wife

of your youth, against whom you were faithless. Yet she is your

companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage

vows].

And did not God make [you and your wife] one [flesh]? Did not

One make you and preserve your spirit alive? And why [did God

make you two] one? Because He sought a godly  offspring [from

your union]. Therefore take heed to yourselves, and let no one

deal treacherously and be faithless to his wife of his youth.

Malachi 2:14, 15

 

I love this passage of scripture. In this passage we see how God

loves marriage. He created it. But there is something else. From

this passage we learn one of the reasons God created marriage.

 

“And why [did God make you two] one?

Because He sought a godly offspring [from your union]. “

Malachi 2:15

 

One of the reasons God brings two people together in marriage

is because He is seeking a godly offspring from their union!

Let me take it a step further, He already knows your

child and the plan He has for him or her! When God joins

two people together He is not just thinking about the two

people but He is thinking far ahead. He is thinking about thier

children and their children after them and so on! God has a plan

for your children. He loves them and He is thinking about them.

 

So, young man, don’t rush when it comes to choosing the woman

God has for you. There is so much more than meets the eye. He

wants to bless you and He wants to bless your children and thier

children after them. Young women, wait on God’s timing!

He is faithful.

 

“Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God is one Lord [the only Lord].

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your [mind and]

heart and with your entire being and with all your might.

And these words which I am commanding you this day shall be

[first] in your [own] minds and hearts; [then]

 

You shall whet and sharpen them so as to make them penetrate,

and teach and impress them diligently upon the [minds and]

hearts of your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your

 house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and

when you rise up.

Deuteronomy 6:4-7

 

This verse ministered to me deeply. It starts with me, it starts with

you. God wants to work on you first so you will be able to teach your

kids. He wants His words to be lodged deep inside you first.

His words must first do thier work in you before they can impact

the next generation.

 

Young man, young woman, is the word first in your life?

Do you have a relationship with the Lord?

If yes, is it deep, is it growing?

Do you love the Lord?

Is He the most important thing in your life?

 

 

Like I said in the beginning, there is so much more to

marriage than meets the eye. Young man, God expects you

to lead your family but how will you lead if you have not

allowed the Lord to lead you?

 

The responsibility of teaching children the word of God lies

on the man. It’s your responsibility young man. It’s an

awesome responsibility and one not to be taken lightly.

Are you living your life in a way that will benefit your future

generation?

God sees generations when He looks at us. Let’s remember our

actions have a direct impact on the future generation!

 

Rolain

 

image credit: google images

Singleness and its challanges…..!


“And her [promised] husband, being a just and upright 

man and not willing to expose her publicily and to shame

her, decided to repudiate and dismiss (divorce) her quietly

and secretly.

But as he was thinking this over, behold, an angel of the Lord

appeared to him in a dream, saying, Joseph, descendant of

David, do not be afraid to take Mary [as] your wife, for

that which is conceived in her is of (from, out of) the Holy

Spirit.

Matthew 1:19, 20

 

I love this passage of scripture. It challenges me so much as

a man. Joseph could of easily exposed Mary. It would of

been okay but he didn’t. He could of made her pay but

instead he decided to put her away quietly, secretly!

He didn’t know she was

pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit and

yet he sought to protect her!! In my eyes, Joseph is

THE man! What he did inspires and encourages me.

I could go and on but that is not why I shared his story

with you.

 

It’s been quite a week I must say. There have been things that

have happened this week that have made me think about

singleness more than usual.

For the record, I am at peace in my singleness. I decided

some time ago I would wait, really wait! God spoke to me

about how important this season is and if you would like

to read what He showed me then please click here.

 

Like I said before, this week, actually this past month has

been hectic. It started with a couple I met at a church

social. In short, the husband didn’t understand why I was

still single and actually suggested I wanted to get married

at fifty!! He then proceeded to try and hook me up with

a girl, not a specific girl but any girl. (you should of seen

the look on my face…haha) I was shocked!

 

That incident rattled me I must admit. I doubted if

I was doing the right thing – waiting!

I doubted if I really heard from God.

Is my head in the clouds?

Does God really have someone for me?

Those are the kind of thoughts I was dealing with.

A lot of people I know have been either getting engaged,

dating, or married. So you can imagine, I was not in a good

place!

 

It took a long time to get to a place of complete

trust in God for my wife. In the post I linked above I talked

about how I believed God was orchestrating my love story.

I was content with that. I was at peace that God was orchestrating

my love story. He was orchestrating the most amazing story not

because of anything I had done (not on the basis of never sleeping

with any girl or dating) but because He loved me. The reason He

would bless me with a wife was because He is good. All my

efforts to stay “pure” were rags in His eyes! They didn’t impress

Him and He was calling me to trust Him completely. He was

calling me to give Him this area of my life completely and I did.

It had been hard or so I thought, that was until the married

man I told you about said all those things.

 

After that I doubted everything God had promised me. As

friends were getting married and so on that doubt grew bigger

and bigger.

I even almost considered settling……

It was bad friends……yes, it WAS bad because God renewed

my faith this week. He showed me something in His word

that gave me hope again! I would like to share what He showed

me.

I shared Joseph’s story because there is a truth I want you to

see.

 

God was the integral part of Joseph and Mary’s union. On his own

Joseph would of left Mary but God intervened. He was involved,

He was directing his path……

There are many more examples in scripture where we see

God directing the affairs of men concerning who they were

to marry!

 

Remember Isaac and Rebekah. God led Abraham’s servant

right to Rebekah who was the daughter of Bethuel who was

Abraham’s relative (He was either a brother or nephew. I

am not too sure)!!!!

(read Genesis 24)

But this is the point, God was directly involved. He was not

idly sitting by watching Abraham’s servant. He was directing

him in his every step!

When it comes to our lives, that is what

He is doing. He is not idly sitting with crossed fingers hoping

we make the right choices. He is orchestrating things in our

lives but we have to let Him have His way.

And that’s what I did. I renewed my decision to wait on Him.

Things will come and rock my faith but I will keep on trusting.

 

If you are waiting on God for the person He has for you

know that He  can be trusted. He will not let you down.

People can talk, and let them. Your faith is in God and He

cares deeply for you.

It may seem like nothing is happening and time is going but

God WILL come through.

He is the One who is orchestrating your love story and

what a story He is orchestrating!

He can be trusted!

Blessings to you friends…..

 

Rolain

 

photo credit: Google images


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The true gift……


                                    photo credit: google images

 

I want to bring something back into order, something that

has been tarnished, and diminished in the world

today. The world may have forgotten but we must not forget.

We cannot forget. “What is he rambling on about”, you might be

asking??

 

What do you think is the best gift God can give you?

Salvation yes…!!!! But I am talking about what comes

after salvation.

The world has put value on possessions. Some think God’s

best comes in the form of money. But the word is very

clear about what God’s best gift is:

 

Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?

The fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Psalms 127:3 (MSG)

 

We have been deceived as the body of Christ because we have put

other things first. We have desired other things which is not a

bad thing. Don’t get me wrong….God has so much in store for us.

But we must not lose sight of His greatest gift to us, children!

Parents need to teach their kids about family and legacy!

As single men and women we need to think about our legacy.

Our career is important but I feel we have put that ahead of

everything else. It’s not “cool” to think about family anymore!

God’s definition of the best gift is children but do we think like that?

As I write this it is cutting me as well. It’s a hard

thought. We have become so selfish. We only think about

ourselves and what WE can get. But God is thinking so

much grander…..

May we get a revelation today…….Amen!

 

Rolain

The problem with being a virgin….!!!


It’s being a while since I have written about my

journey, my journey of singleness! It’s an important

season and we should give it the credit it deserves.

I am writing on singleness because there has been

something I have been wrestling with. I have been

wrestling with the significance of my virginity in the scope

of singleness.

 

For ages we have been told to wait, “don’t have sex

before marriage.” That is all good advise and that is not

the issue. The issue I have is when we are told we will get

God’s best if we keep ourselves!!! “You will get God’s best

if you don’t have sex and don’t date until you find the One.”

Before I carry on I want to make something very clear.

I have kept myself, I am a virgin, I haven’t dated yet and

years ago that was my pride and glory! I held that up

to everyone and even to God. I was going to get the best

because I was pure, I kept myself! But I was wrong.

The advise we have been getting is incomplete.

As the years go by I realize more and more

that the woman God has for me will not be given to me

because of what I have done, but because of His grace.

She will be a gift!

I don’t want to get anything based on my

performance because the truth of the matter is I would

not get anything! God looks at the

heart and my heart is sinful. I may not have slept around

but I have sinned incredibly in my heart!!

 

To be honest with you, I don’t deserve God’s best. I have let

Him down so much. How can I stand before Him holding

up MY version of purity (filthy rags) and with pride say,

“God give me your best”….!!!! It doesn’t work like that!

Don’t get caught up in law (I kept myself so I want this

kind of woman or this kind of man)

God is looking at your heart. He wants to give you the

best because He loves you not because you did this or

did that.

 

But if you have kept yourself please understand that I am

not attacking you. I want you to see that God will give you

the best because that is the kind of God He is.  Look at what the word says,

 

For God has not called us to impurity but to consecration

[to dedicate ourselves to the most thorough purity].

1 Thessalonians 4:7

 

The word says we should DEDICATE ourselves! That is

such a strong word. We dedicate ourselves to purity

because we want to honor God in our hearts of hearts!

We dedicate ourselves to purity because we love Him

with every fiber of our being.

When David committed sexual sin with Bathsheba he

ran to God. His heart was torn at what he had done.

But it was never about “I am a man after God’s heart”!

He saw himself as a man under God’s grace. He fought

to stay humble in his own eyes.

Don’t get caught up in the law side of things. We don’t

deserve anything from God to be honest. All the “good”

we have done is like filthy rags.

 

If God has someone out there for me it will be because He

loves me. And on my wedding day the focus won’t be on how

many years I kept myself, or how I never dated and so on but

the focus will be on God’s amazing grace and love.

It will be about how much God loved me a sinful man that He still

went ahead and gave me His best even though I didn’t deserve it!

It will be a day of praise

to Him. A day where people give Him the glory…….

I will have nothing else to stand on but His goodness

and grace and that is the way it should always be!

 

For those of you who think you have sinned so much that

you don’t deserve God’s best know this:

God loves you. He is a good God and He wants you to run

to Him. He knows what you have done but He wants to you

to trust Him. He has someone special for you.

Don’t believe the lie that there is no one for you. The lie

that says you have sinned too much.

The lie that says God can’t forgive you.

Just know, there is hope for you!

He has a plan for you.

 

God is so good. I think about all He does for me and

I thank Him. I have nothing to say. I am speechless.

I simply wait for His gifts and blessing that I didn’t

deserve or orchestrate. I do have a part to play but it

will not take away from ALL that God does for me.

Be encouraged in your season of singleness. God is

with you in it.

Have a great weekend everyone!

 

Rolain

 

 

Staying pure in your singleness!


I have been reading a book called “Hero” written by Fred Stoeker. It has been a Godsend. It has really challenged me concerning my purity! This is not a review of the book. I want to encourage you to read it if you are single especially if you are a man! It is up there with books like “Boy meets girl”, and “I kissed dating goodbye” by Joshua Harris. (I am biased towards Joshua Harris because I am still to find a book on dating I have enjoyed as much as his books!)

But this is why I am writing this post, because I HAVE found a book that is as good as or even better than the books I have read! As I read “Hero” purity was and is on my mind. Do we really understand what purity is in the context of life and relationships??

The first thought that came to mind was singleness. What is God’s purpose for singleness? Why does He allow us to go through a season of singleness? Singleness is not a time of nothing! It is not the “trailer before the movie”! God has specific purposes and plans for us in our season of singleness! After reading “Hero” I am convinced one of those purposes is to understand what purity is and walk in that understanding!

After reading “Hero” I made a decision:

I will fight for my sexual purity with all that I have! I will not allow the enemy to take it away through his deception and lies! It is my responsibility as a man to take up my sword and fight for my purity! It’s a gift from God which honors Him and will bless my wife! I will not wait for someone else down the line in my family who is more disciplined and who loves God more to fight this fight because I am weak! It stops here….. I will fight for the future generations! I am the one God has called to fight this giant and strike down with His help of course!

Purity is more than abstaining from sex before you get married! Let me show you what I think it is now:

  1. It is about watching what you watch! Stop watching those illicit movies! Pornography has to go! What are you watching?

I DICTATED a covenant (an agreement) to my eyes; how then could I look [lustfully] upon a girl? Job 31:1

Job had to make a covenant with his eyes so he could stay pure and we need to do the same! When it comes to purity we can’t play games! It’s a war against anything and everything that will threaten it.

 

  1. For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds, [inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasoning’s and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).  2 Corinthians 10:4-5

Being able to control your thoughts is what purity is all about. After reading “Hero” I realized I had mindsets and thoughts I had adopted from the media which were wrong and not biblical. They had to be torn down and that process is still happening! Bring thoughts that have exalted themselves against Christ.

 

  1. I have addressed what you should do with your eyes and your mind. Purity means making a covenant with your eyes by watching what you watch. It is being careful what you think about. Every thought must be brought captive to the obedience of Christ. The next thing is watching what you say.

A man’s [moral] self shall be filled with the fruit of his mouth; and with the consequences of his words he must be satisfied [whether good or evil]. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life] Proverbs 18:20-21

Put away from you false and dishonest speech, and willful and contrary talk put far from you. Proverbs 4:24

What’s the point if you have decided to watch what you watch and watch what enters your mind when you have a filthy mouth so to speak? It doesn’t add up. Life and death are in the power of the tongue so are you using it to give life or are you killing with that tongue of yours???? Being pure means being able to control how you speak, it means dispensing life with your words!

 

This is the final point:

Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flows the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23

Guard your heart with all that you have! If your heart gets corrupted you will find yourself in a whole heap of trouble! How do you guard your heart?

You guard it by analyzing everything you allow. Everything should be tested. Don’t believe everything, don’t listen to everyone, measure everything according to the word of God! Is the heart pure?? I don’t know! But the one thing we can do is guard it.

 

It looks like there is a lot of work to do in the season of singleness!  It’s an important season of your life. Use the time you have wisely! You won’t be single forever. That is what I think purity is now and that is all thanks to “Hero” the book I read. As I read it purity began to become clear to me! It was then that it dawned on me we have a lot of work to do in our singleness! I hope you will get a copy of the book if you haven’t read it. With that said, please have a great weekend!

Rolain

Oh no….I lost the ‘list’!!!


You don’t know what you want” were the words ringing in my ears after speaking to a friend this past week. The words were a bit harsh but he was right. We were talking about relationships and the challenges I was facing finding the One. Have you written your “list” he asked? Off course I did. I wrote the “list” a long time ago.

“The list, for those that don’t know is when a single man or woman writes about the attributes and character of the man or woman they want. It’s a very specific list of things you want.  (Is she tall, short, athletic, adventurous, is he funny, caring and so on?)”

But as I recited to him the things on my list something shocking happened……..There were things I wasn’t sure about anymore!! I was undecided…..! I began to panic, what was I going to do? Was I double minded because if I was the word says, “a double man is unstable in all his ways and he can expect nothing from God”!

But upon further thought I realized why I was unsure. As I have matured and grown in the Lord and met and interacted with a lot of women there are things I have come to appreciate that I never did when I was younger. Upon further thought I came to another conclusion:

If the woman I wrote about all those years ago has changed doesn’t that mean the woman I write about now is going to change as I continue maturing? To take it even further, does it mean its pointless even compiling a list when I don’t even know myself that well?? A list is important, this I understand. It is so important to have an idea of what you want. This is one area where you cannot be clueless! But this is my point; the “list” can’t be all we go by. The “list” is flawed because we as humans are flawed. Only God knows what you really need! It’s okay to have a guide line for what you want. That guide line is the “list” but don’t let it be your final measuring line!

So here I am with an idea of what I want. It is very detailed but at the same time it’s not. There are things I can’t come to a final conclusion about but I am trusting the God who knows me better than anyone else in this world. I don’t have to worry about an incomplete list because God the One who created my wife will bring her to me and she will be everything I expect and even more. I pray she is not exactly as I picture her because that means God has succumbed to my low and flawed view of the “one”! I pray that is not the case. I want the woman He has for me, not the one I have created for myself!

Rolain.

So you want to date…..?


I had the amazing opportunity of being one of the best men at a friend’s wedding.I have been to weddings before but have never been this closely involved before. Being this close made me realise a few important things. As my friend and his wife exchanged their vows I realized a covenant was being made. A covenant is something we don’t take lightly at all. God is a God of covenant and marriage is a covenant.

The other thing I realized was how there is so much pressure to date. If I like someone I must date. If it doesn’t work out it doesn’t work out. But dating is so much more. The end goal of dating should be marriage. When we go into dating we should be thinking if this is the person we could marry. Dating with no goal in mind is not really dating. If you have no intention whatsoever to marry the girl or guy  you are dating and you are dating because it’s just the thing to do then please stop. You will save the both of you a lot of heartache.

Dating is great if you understand marriage could be the end result. The whole process of dating is very focused because you have an end in mind, a goal. It may not work out and I understand that but don’t just date for the sake of dating. The person you are dating might be your husband or wife. If that is not what you want then stop.  Dating for the sake of dating just causes unnecessary pain. Do your partner a favor and stop right there.

Saying “I DO” doesn’t start on your wedding day. The process of saying those words begins when you start dating. Let us not take it lightly. Allow God to lead you in your relationships. Guard your heart and your partners heart by not getting into something you know that you know has no future. God will bring the right person at the right time! (I say that by faith….. ).    😉

Rolain