How to pray for your future wife!

This post is a response to a post I read a few days ago, a post that  challenged me to the core. If you are a single woman I urge you to read it. The title of the post is called, “Dear Future Husband” and it is written by Samantha Hardcastle. You can read it here.

Men, I urge you to read it as well. It is an excellently written post and I think as men we need to know the kind of women we want and Samantha does a great job of holding up a Proverbs 31 woman. Anyway, let’s start. After reading the post I realized how important it is for us as men to do our part. We too need to pray for our wives. Samantha says,

‘These women don’t know if he has brown hair or orange hair – if he enjoys his coffee black or sweet – or if he’s been through hell and back. But they all share a common thread that all too easily, could be a lost art in one’s love life – and that is the act of praying.”

Men, prayer is important. Prayer is powerful and not to be taken lightly. I say that to you and to myself as a reminder. But I would like to go further with this because as men our responsibility is so much greater not because God made men better than women, but because God has a plan. We are to be the head. We are called to lead our families. We are called to protect and take care of them. The responsibility we have been given is very serious. So the question stands, how are we as men to pray for our wives?

I mentioned the first point. The actually act of praying is very important and key.

For the second point I would like to share something else from Samantha’s post,

“As I go through my past letters, a common theme I have prayed over him is that He would be a bold man for the things of God, bold in loving others, bold in living selflessly, bold in risking his personal comfort for more of Jesus. A man who is bold is the kind of man I want to hold”.

Another way of praying for your future wife is by preparing yourself in your singleness.

What habits need to be changed now? We don’t start when we get married, no! We start now. Ask God to show you habits that are not honoring to Him and ask your closest friends about the things you do that annoy them. Maybe you talk with food in your mouth or people can hear you from the other side of the world when you eat. Maybe you like getting up late every day or maybe you can’t resist flirting with other women, I don’t know. Just change habits that need to be changed.

Have a vision. As a man you are going to lead your family but how will you lead if you don’t have a vision? Let me rephrase that. How can you lead your family if you don’t know what your purpose is? Everyone has a purpose from God. Ask God to show you His purpose for your life.

Seek God with all of your heart. I put this third but it’s actually the most important thing a man can do. Without God we are nothing. He must be first in your life. He must be your consuming passion. He must be the one who occupies your thoughts constantly. He must be the one that completes you. Please listen to me on this point. A woman will not complete you. God is the only one, I repeat , the only one who will complete you…..The media has lied to us through movies and music that a man or woman will complete us but that is so not true. GOD IS THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL COMPLETE YOU. Ladies, if you find yourself relying on a man for meaning and purpose then you have been deceived! God is the only one who can give you that.

I will stop there for today. I have lots to share but I will stop there. I hope you got the gist of what I am saying. As men we need to pray for our wives too. They need our prayers as we need their prayers……It’s a two way thing.  Be vigilant; don’t take the assignment you have been given by God lightly. Your future wife is depending on you, she is praying for you!


Congratulations On Becoming A Servant!!!!

Who likes being called a servant? I don’t think anyone likes being called that. It is degrading and just down right embarrassing. But this is the thing, God wants us to be servant leaders. Get it, SERVANT leaders! Somewhere down the line, the definition of true leadership has been lost. We have leaders who don’t talk to their flock. We have leaders who will not dare take advise from a mere feeble “commoner”. We have leaders who live in another world who cannot be touched and spoken to. Their security detail (oh excuse me, I mean protocol team) are the ones who decide who is fit or dressed well enough or eloquent enough to speak to the Man of God!!! Something is very wrong with this picture, very wrong!

One of the most important traits of a leader is being able to serve. A real leader is able to serve. Listen to how one of the greatest leaders in history is addressed by God Almighty,

And Israel saw the great work which the Lord did against the Egyptians, and the people [reverently] feared the Lord and trusted in (relied on, remained steadfast to) the Lord and to His servant Moses.
Exodus 14:31

After the death of Moses the servant of the Lord, the Lord said to Joshua son of Nun, Moses minister,
Moses My servant is dead. So now arise [take his place], go over this Jordon, you and all this people, into the land which I am giving to them, the Israelites.

Moses was a servant leader. Another thing to note about a servant leader is, it’s not so much what you do but what is in your heart. Moses had a heart to serve. Do you have a heart to serve and not just the rich and famous but anybody from the youngest to the poorest? If not you are not fit to be called a leader!!!
As a leader are you able to listen to and serve anyone? If a child had to ask you to get something would you do it?
If a poor person asked you to get something for them would you do it?
A servant leader does not look at himself or herself anymore but looks at what they can do for others.
Are you that person?

This is what Jesus says about being a leader,

And Jesus called them to Him and said, You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men hold them in subjection [tyrannizing over them].
Not so shall it be among you; but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your slave –
Just as the Son of Man came not to be waited on but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many [the price paid to set them free].
Matthew 20:27,28

Being a servant-leader is not easy. It takes sacrifice. It requires you die to yourself!
Jesus washed His disciples feet. It must of been a humbling experience for Him but He did it. John 13:3 says,

[That] Jesus, knowing (fully aware) that the Father had put everything into His hands, and that He had come from God and was [now] returning to God,

Jesus knew exactly who He was yet in that understanding He still washed the disciples feet. Knowing that you are someone great and then serving someone is one thing but knowing you are the Son of God and washing your servants feet is something entirely different!!!

As I end I would like you to think about what kind of leader you are.
A servant leader is someone who thinks about other people more than he or she thinks about themselves. Is that you?