The problem with being a virgin….!!!


It’s being a while since I have written about my

journey, my journey of singleness! It’s an important

season and we should give it the credit it deserves.

I am writing on singleness because there has been

something I have been wrestling with. I have been

wrestling with the significance of my virginity in the scope

of singleness.

 

For ages we have been told to wait, “don’t have sex

before marriage.” That is all good advise and that is not

the issue. The issue I have is when we are told we will get

God’s best if we keep ourselves!!! “You will get God’s best

if you don’t have sex and don’t date until you find the One.”

Before I carry on I want to make something very clear.

I have kept myself, I am a virgin, I haven’t dated yet and

years ago that was my pride and glory! I held that up

to everyone and even to God. I was going to get the best

because I was pure, I kept myself! But I was wrong.

The advise we have been getting is incomplete.

As the years go by I realize more and more

that the woman God has for me will not be given to me

because of what I have done, but because of His grace.

She will be a gift!

I don’t want to get anything based on my

performance because the truth of the matter is I would

not get anything! God looks at the

heart and my heart is sinful. I may not have slept around

but I have sinned incredibly in my heart!!

 

To be honest with you, I don’t deserve God’s best. I have let

Him down so much. How can I stand before Him holding

up MY version of purity (filthy rags) and with pride say,

“God give me your best”….!!!! It doesn’t work like that!

Don’t get caught up in law (I kept myself so I want this

kind of woman or this kind of man)

God is looking at your heart. He wants to give you the

best because He loves you not because you did this or

did that.

 

But if you have kept yourself please understand that I am

not attacking you. I want you to see that God will give you

the best because that is the kind of God He is.  Look at what the word says,

 

For God has not called us to impurity but to consecration

[to dedicate ourselves to the most thorough purity].

1 Thessalonians 4:7

 

The word says we should DEDICATE ourselves! That is

such a strong word. We dedicate ourselves to purity

because we want to honor God in our hearts of hearts!

We dedicate ourselves to purity because we love Him

with every fiber of our being.

When David committed sexual sin with Bathsheba he

ran to God. His heart was torn at what he had done.

But it was never about “I am a man after God’s heart”!

He saw himself as a man under God’s grace. He fought

to stay humble in his own eyes.

Don’t get caught up in the law side of things. We don’t

deserve anything from God to be honest. All the “good”

we have done is like filthy rags.

 

If God has someone out there for me it will be because He

loves me. And on my wedding day the focus won’t be on how

many years I kept myself, or how I never dated and so on but

the focus will be on God’s amazing grace and love.

It will be about how much God loved me a sinful man that He still

went ahead and gave me His best even though I didn’t deserve it!

It will be a day of praise

to Him. A day where people give Him the glory…….

I will have nothing else to stand on but His goodness

and grace and that is the way it should always be!

 

For those of you who think you have sinned so much that

you don’t deserve God’s best know this:

God loves you. He is a good God and He wants you to run

to Him. He knows what you have done but He wants to you

to trust Him. He has someone special for you.

Don’t believe the lie that there is no one for you. The lie

that says you have sinned too much.

The lie that says God can’t forgive you.

Just know, there is hope for you!

He has a plan for you.

 

God is so good. I think about all He does for me and

I thank Him. I have nothing to say. I am speechless.

I simply wait for His gifts and blessing that I didn’t

deserve or orchestrate. I do have a part to play but it

will not take away from ALL that God does for me.

Be encouraged in your season of singleness. God is

with you in it.

Have a great weekend everyone!

 

Rolain

 

 

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What God thinks about our desires…….


You have given him his heart’s desire and have

not withheld the request of his lips. Selah

[pause, and think of that]! Psalm 21: 2 (Amplified)

 

A very interesting passage of scripture if you ask me.

As I read it I thought about desire. What role does

desire play in the life of a believer?

What does God think about our desires?

I guess that’s the most important question.

If we are going to talk about desire we need

to talk about disappointment. How many times

desire has come only to be disappointed……

but is that God’s plan?

 

Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you

the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:3

 

The thing a wicked man fears shall come upon

him, but the desire of the [uncompromisingly]

righteous shall be granted. Proverbs 10:24

 

May He give you the desire of your heart and

make all your plans succeed. Psalm 20:4

 

I think you will agree with me that God wants

us to have desires.

I may even dare say that some of the desires you

have where given to you by God…!!!

 

This is my point, don’t abandon desire. It is

not wrong to have desires.

 

The pharisees did away with desire. They were

into following rules and traditions. All I am saying

is that, God wants to give you the desires of

your heart.

But desire is much too complex to end here.

It is your responsibility to bring your desires

before God. You can pick up desires from the

wrong things and that is why you need

to bring them to God. An unchecked desire

is a dangerous thing so be careful.

 

Let’s look at the Psalms 21:2 again:

 

You have given him his hearts desire

and have not withheld the request of

his lips. Selah [pause, and think of that]

 

David may have written this Psalm so

he may be talking about himself.

If that’s so then God gave him his hearts

desire and never withheld his the request

of his lips!!! That is amazing right….

 

Are you talking to God about the desires

that are in your heart or have you buried

them deep, so deep that you don’t

even know what they are? You have not

allowed yourself to desire because you

fear being disappointed.

My advice to you is, don’t abandon

desire. There is a chance it might be

thwarted but desire anyway. That

could just mean it was not of God.

Don’t be afraid of your desires.

Stand them up to the word of God and

let them go if they are not from God.

He has given you the desires of your

heart and His desire is that they be

fulfilled…..

 

Rolain

 

 

 

Walk and live in Him……


“Walk by the spirit!” I have heard that been said so

many times but if I am to be honest I didn’t fully

understand what that meant. I thought I did

but I really didn’t. Walking and living by

the spirit is not just about speaking in tongues or

praying 24/7 even though those things are extremely

important. I am going to bring a bit more understanding

and hopefully it will help you walk and live by the spirit.

 

This is what the word says about walking in the spirit:

 

But I say, walk and live [habitually] in the Holy Spirit

[responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit];

then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and

desires of the flesh (of human nature without God).

Galatians 5:16

 

It is very clear that as Christians we are supposed to

walk and live in the Spirit. So how do you walk and live

in the Spirit?

Let’s look at another scripture:

 

For the desires of the flesh are opposed to the

[Holy] Spirit, and the [desires of the] Spirit are

opposed to the flesh (godless human nature);

for these are antagonistic to each other [continually

withstanding and in conflict with each other],

so that you are not free but are prevented from

doing what you desire to do.  Galatians 5:17

 

As we desire to walk and live in the Spirit we need

to understand something, there is a war going on

in us, a war between our flesh and the Holy Spirit.

We need to understand this. They are in conflict

with each other.

In other words, the flesh hates it when you allow

the Spirit to move through you, the flesh hates

anything Spirit which would be prayer, reading

your word, spending time with God, fasting,

meditating on His word and a whole lot more

and it is the same for the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit

hates flesh. He is opposed to it.

 

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify

the desires of the flesh. Galatians 5:16

 

That is God’s desire for us, that we would

walk by the Spirit.

The question is how?

 

Now the doings (practices) of the flesh are

clear (obvious): they are immorality,

impurity, indecency,

Idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealously,

anger (ill temper), selfishness, divisions

(dissensions), party spirit (factions, sects

with peculiar opinions, heresies),

Envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the

like. I warn you beforehand, just as

I did previously that those who do

such things shall not inherit the kingdom

of God. Galatians 5:19-21

 

As I read that scripture I realized

something, walking in the flesh is simply

doing any of the

things mentioned in the scripture above.

This scripture gives us great insight into

how the flesh operates. As I read it I

realized I had given the flesh a lot

of leeway in my life…..!

But we are called to walk and live

in the Spirit.

 

But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the

work which His presence within

accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness),

peace, patience (an even temper,

forbearance), kindness, goodness

(benevolence), faithfulness,

Gentleness (meekness, humility),

self-control (self-restraint, continence).

Against such things there is no law

[that can bring a charge]. Galatians 5:22, 23

 

Walking and living by the Spirit

is fighting against the flesh. It’s about

getting rid of the idols in our lives, working

on that crazy temper, getting rid of envy,

and so on.

It’s about walking in love when we want to

hate, it’s about forgiving someone when

you want to hold a grudge………..

We are not perfect so this fight we are in

is a life long fight! We need the help of the

Holy Spirit to win. This is one fight you

will not win by yourself!

 

Look at one more scripture with me:

 

And those who belong to Christ Jesus

(the Messiah) have crucified the flesh

(the godless human nature) with its

passions and appetites and desires.

Galatians 5:24

 

This is what walking and living in the

Spirit looks like. It’s about crucifying

the flesh with its passions and desires

daily! Is it easy, heck no!

But it’s a fight worth fighting. We want

the Holy Spirit to have total control.

That is the goal…..

May we call on Him to help us walk

and live in the Spirit.

Amen

 

Rolain

 

 

 

Purity and dating….What really matters here???


 

I had a thought the other day about my blog. I have rarely written anything

about dating. I have written a few posts here and there but nothing really substantial

about this very important piece of my life. It’s what I pray about constantly and talk to

God about. It’s an area I struggle trusting God in. If there is one thing I have

realized when it comes to finding the one, it’s we as people have no control over who we are to be with.

What I mean is God is the one directing us and guiding us in our relationships. He is involved

In the choosing process, it’s not just us. If it was up to me only I would of being married by now,

I would of chosen someone and that would have been that. But that is not the case for me. God has

really used this area of my life to teach me to trust in Him wholeheartedly! That is what I believe and

that is what I have experienced. This won’t apply to everyone. We are all unique and God works

differently in all our lives.

 

What is your point you might be asking??? Please bear with me a little longer. I am getting there….

 

I had a great week last week. It was great because God spoke to me about grace. I have always

known what grace is but last week was different. I got a whole new perspective on grace. But with

that perspective certain areas of my life were highlighted. The area of dating and relationships

was one of the areas that were highlighted in my life.

Let me explain. I have always prided myself in the values I have been taught concerning dating.

 

–         I have never dated in my life ever!

–         I have never kissed anyone passionately (That honor will go to my wife)!

–         I signed a covenant of chastity even.

 

 

There are others but this post is not about what my values are and getting the praise but about

what God showed me. These are the things that made me proud and even conceited. Because of the

values I had I thought I could dictate who I wanted. God, I want this kind of woman and she must

be that and and and………

I am so ashamed writing this because I was seriously misguided. This is not how God works.

One of the things I prided myself in...... But what matters is God's grace!

One of the things I prided myself in……
But what matters is God’s grace!

 

Last week He showed me how getting a wife was not because of all the things I had done,

and the high standards I had and the values I believed in but because of His grace!

It is because of His grace that I will find the One. It won’t be because of my intelligence and

how holy I appear to be and how together I try to be but it will be because of His grace!!!!

This is one area He will get the glory! He wants the glory in every aspect of our lives.

When I realized this I was dumbfounded. How could I have not seen this?

 

Please understand me here, keeping yourself pure and all those other decisions about purity

you have made or should make are important. But those things need to be done to glorify God.

I had that intension when I first started out but it changed some where. It became about me

some where down the line.I will meet the woman God has for me because of His grace. I won’t

have anything to add on and say to God “but it’s because I did this or that…..no!”

That is how amazing God’s grace is. His grace extends to every other area of our lives and not just in

our relationships.

 

Will you lean fully on His grace? Don’t rely on what you have done or what you can do and and and….

Rely on His grace!

 

Rolain