It’s being a while since I have written about my
journey, my journey of singleness! It’s an important
season and we should give it the credit it deserves.
I am writing on singleness because there has been
something I have been wrestling with. I have been
wrestling with the significance of my virginity in the scope
For ages we have been told to wait, “don’t have sex
before marriage.” That is all good advise and that is not
the issue. The issue I have is when we are told we will get
God’s best if we keep ourselves!!! “You will get God’s best
if you don’t have sex and don’t date until you find the One.”
Before I carry on I want to make something very clear.
I have kept myself, I am a virgin, I haven’t dated yet and
years ago that was my pride and glory! I held that up
to everyone and even to God. I was going to get the best
because I was pure, I kept myself! But I was wrong.
The advise we have been getting is incomplete.
As the years go by I realize more and more
that the woman God has for me will not be given to me
because of what I have done, but because of His grace.
She will be a gift!
I don’t want to get anything based on my
performance because the truth of the matter is I would
not get anything! God looks at the
heart and my heart is sinful. I may not have slept around
but I have sinned incredibly in my heart!!
To be honest with you, I don’t deserve God’s best. I have let
Him down so much. How can I stand before Him holding
up MY version of purity (filthy rags) and with pride say,
“God give me your best”….!!!! It doesn’t work like that!
Don’t get caught up in law (I kept myself so I want this
kind of woman or this kind of man)
God is looking at your heart. He wants to give you the
best because He loves you not because you did this or
But if you have kept yourself please understand that I am
not attacking you. I want you to see that God will give you
the best because that is the kind of God He is. Look at what the word says,
For God has not called us to impurity but to consecration
[to dedicate ourselves to the most thorough purity].
1 Thessalonians 4:7
The word says we should DEDICATE ourselves! That is
such a strong word. We dedicate ourselves to purity
because we want to honor God in our hearts of hearts!
We dedicate ourselves to purity because we love Him
with every fiber of our being.
When David committed sexual sin with Bathsheba he
ran to God. His heart was torn at what he had done.
But it was never about “I am a man after God’s heart”!
He saw himself as a man under God’s grace. He fought
to stay humble in his own eyes.
Don’t get caught up in the law side of things. We don’t
deserve anything from God to be honest. All the “good”
we have done is like filthy rags.
If God has someone out there for me it will be because He
loves me. And on my wedding day the focus won’t be on how
many years I kept myself, or how I never dated and so on but
the focus will be on God’s amazing grace and love.
It will be about how much God loved me a sinful man that He still
went ahead and gave me His best even though I didn’t deserve it!
It will be a day of praise
to Him. A day where people give Him the glory…….
I will have nothing else to stand on but His goodness
and grace and that is the way it should always be!
For those of you who think you have sinned so much that
you don’t deserve God’s best know this:
God loves you. He is a good God and He wants you to run
to Him. He knows what you have done but He wants to you
to trust Him. He has someone special for you.
Don’t believe the lie that there is no one for you. The lie
that says you have sinned too much.
The lie that says God can’t forgive you.
Just know, there is hope for you!
He has a plan for you.
God is so good. I think about all He does for me and
I thank Him. I have nothing to say. I am speechless.
I simply wait for His gifts and blessing that I didn’t
deserve or orchestrate. I do have a part to play but it
will not take away from ALL that God does for me.
Be encouraged in your season of singleness. God is
with you in it.
Have a great weekend everyone!