The title might be a bit much but I thought it would be really fitting for what I am about to write….
As men we have been told about the Proverbs 31 woman. Every Christian single man wants her. He prays for her.
Ladies, you may think you know Proverbs 31 but what you know cannot be matched with what we as men know about Proverbs 31. We sleep Proverbs 31, drink it, meditate on it, dream about it and so on and so on!
By now you must be thinking to yourself, common Rolain, let’s be serious please! 🙂
OK, let’s be serious. We may not drink it, and meditate on it as much as I say or dream about it but the fact remains, it is important to us. We want a Proverbs 31 woman. Ladies, you have been told to be a Proverbs 31 woman but what does that mean? We read stuff like this and are in awe… :
– A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman – who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. Proverbs 31:10
– She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm. Proverbs 31: 17
– She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat. Proverbs 31:27
As men we read this and develop this crazy idea that you are perfect!!! I don’t say this in a derogative way. For years I has this perfect image of a Proverbs 31 woman. My wife will be flawless I thought to my self. She will be perfect……But is that what it means to be a Proverbs 31 woman??
Ladies, this goes the other way as well. If my wife is expecting someone perfect then she is going to be seriously dissapointed!
I am human and I am trusting God to guide me in righteousness everyday. I lean on His mercy and grace everyday! I sin everyday! Does that mean I am not Mr Right???
Does being a Proverbs 31 woman mean perfection and flawlessness??? After all, Proverbs 31 doesn’t mention anything about her struggles with sin and failings or so we think! It doesn’t mention her having any battles so we think. We don’t see her in a confused state and we don’t see her struggling with fears so we conclude she is perfect! But that is not the picture Proverbs 31 paints. It paints a picture of a woman racked with sin who puts God first!! Don’t hide your imperfections. Men, don’t hide you faults. Our job is to put Him first. He should be the One you praise and direct the glory to.
But the truth is this. The Proverbs 31 woman is not perfect. Her trust is in God daily. She falls and makes mistakes. Ladies, Mr Right is in the same boat. He is flawed more than you know. Sin has left its mark! Don’t look for perfection. Expecting perfection from a person is impossible. They will never be perfect in this life. So if that is the case, what are we to look for in Mr Right and The Proverbs 31 woman? The end of Proverbs 31 puts it nicely:
Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears The Lord, she shall be praised! Proverbs 31:30
This is what makes the Proverbs 31 woman a Proverbs 31 woman. Her strength is in God. Her confidence is in God. She is not perfect but she has a relationship with a perfect God! Mr Right has flaws. He doesn’t try to hide them and paint a false picture of who is. He shouldn’t! His trust is in God. This is what defines them, their relationship with God. We are all a work in progress. So as I end, men, we need to go into a relationship with the right image. You are flawed but so is the woman God has for you. She is not perfect and the same goes for you too…..Let us depend on God to help us in our relationships!
I’m so glad you included the men not being perfect, too. 🙂 May I also add that we cannot expect that “special someone” is going to make us happy. That joy comes from the Lord not from a man/woman. Good article.
It would be amiss of me not to mention the men. We are in desperate need of His grace! Like I said before, we are ALL a work in progress….men and women!
I liked what you said there Sue. Our joy does not come from the person God has for us. Our joy should come from God!!! I will remember that Sue. Thank you
Great post! The Bible is clear how we, as women, should strive to be. Our manual. No perfectly, but a goal and forever journey. It’s was important for me to have a spouse who was Christ-centered. Because of this focus, we truly share likeness, beliefs and can weather any storm. God will bless these decisions! 🙂
Thank you for sharing that Catherine. It really helped. Choosing someone who is Christ-centered is key! And it’s because of that focus a couple can weather the storms that come their way!!! That is a great point Catherine…..
Well said Rolain! I like this sentence: “She is not perfect but she has a relationship with a perfect God!” It’s easy to look for a spouse that ‘ticks all the right boxes’ but it is much wiser, as you say, to look for someone who’s authentic, and entrusts their life to their Heavenly Father, allowing him to mould them more and more into his image.
May God grant you the desires of your heart as you entrust your future to God.
Thanks so much Ali……
Amen!! The Proverbs 31 Woman is often set on a pedestal for women for all the wrong reasons. Yes she seems “perfect” but it’s not because of her own effort but through her relationship with Christ that she is able to exhibit all those character traits that we look up to. And any of us can have that same relationship with Christ as well as the same qualities that she possesses through that. Great post!
Thanks for your comment Anna….so true!
I wrote on this subject as well…I’ll send you the link …no pressure to read though.
It’s cool….I will read it!
Great! It’s nice to read a man’s perspective on the Proverbs 31 woman.